How to deal with being dropped by a friend?

[SouthernNorthernGirl]

I've posted before on this, although I think I was at the stage of being 'weaned off' then.
I had 1 or 2 helpful responses, however it's because I didn't disclose in OP that my friend is male. People said it was relevant and I felt it wasn't. He lives with his male fiance, and so no romantic ties or possibility of it at all!
I took the advice I did get, and spoke to him about it, however he has ignored me.
I feel heartbroken. He's my closest friend, and I'm not sure what I've done. We've been friends for years, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I know it may seem silly, though I feel like I would if a LTR had just finished.
I don't know how I feel this way, I'm a fully grown woman, with a DH and DC etc.
How do I deal with it? Any advice?

Is there a possibility this could be about politics or differing stances there? Perhaps you shared something on facebook / twitter or something. Lots of division at the moment causing friendships to fall apart.

Oh, all these posts about it taking a long time to get over are worrying

Take Kalms to get your through this initial stage. The intensity doesn't last.

But you will have to plant your feet and bear it for the relatively long haul. It won't be as intense but it will be sore. ime I can go a bit loony when in the throws of rejection. Just trying to think of strategies for the looniness.. erm.. my strategies are spiritual ie validation and contact with a higher power/a power greater than myself that is kind, generous and loving - more specifically, loves and cherishes me. That helps to put things into context. I've not had a lot of love in my life so a rejection can hit on old wounds. It's important to be kind to yourself.

Then I'd probably think that here is one person who has made a choice about me - one person out of the billions on the planet. That brings perspective. I know it's more about the other person than it is about me. Just because I've been rejected, doesn't mean I'm rejectable iyswim.

Then there's just the plain missing. I find the pain of the rejection can blot out the good memories of the relationship, but it's good to try to remember the good times - eventually. Eventually you can kindly let them go. Kind to you both.

All that takes time, though. You have to accept it's going to take time.

Take care

springy What a lovely and helpful post - thank you. I'll be using all your advice.

My best friend of 30+ years, qualified as a mature student, found a high paid job and dumped me in favour of a work colleague. Just like that..... It took a little while to get used to but I have since realised she's no great loss. In fact she has done me a favour as when we were 'best friends' I seemed to be the one doing all the favours and when I think back she very rarely agreed to do anything I wanted to do. She called the shots and I fell into line because she was my 'friend'.

Her dumping me gave me the impetus to speak to other people and now I have quite a few friends to socialise with, chat to, have meals with, have a laugh with. I don't think I will ever trust anyone enough to become close with again though.

He just dumps you with no explanation. Wow.

these are for you. You'll be ok. Great advice on here.

OP it may seem like it will take a long time to get over now but if you think of the time taken as a percentage of your overall life then actually it's hopefully only going to be a small amount of time.

Not sure how old you are but I can think of a few points in my life when I've felt devastated about something and pretty sure that pain would last forever, but experience now tells me it doesn't.

Hello OP - this has happened to me.
This probably sounds quite cold, but I'd just cut contact and not attempt to get in touch at all.

I do this out of self respect - if people aren't interested in spending time/staying in touch with me, I'll just leave it rather than running after them.

There are a few friends who I might stay in contact with through Facebook, or send a Christmas card or birthday text - that way I'm making a friendly gesture but if they don't reciprocate I take it as a sign that the friendship has pretty much run its course.

I hope you find some closure