In shock, he's getting married

[Dineoutone]

Having just posted about life being tough.. literally this second found out the following news and I feel like a mess.

I was with my ex for 3 years and we lived together. I moved from London to York to live with him as his job moved. He then decided to take a job in Australia a year after we moved to York. I was heartbroken and it was messy, but I got over it quite quickly, mostly due to the shock of the lies I think. He didn't even tell me he was thinking of moving there!

Anyway, fast forward 10 months and he's engaged to an Australian.

It's made me feel so shit. I don't want to be with him, and we weren't right together, but I was the one who was the homemaker, marrriage was on my agenda but he was always saying it was something he wanted 'in the future.' And now he's engaged after 10 months...I know deep down it's not a reflection on me, but I feel like I wasn't good enough, and also feel almost angry that he has everything I wanted when he strung me along thinking I was building a future with him.

This is a badly written post, im just in shock.

Do you reckon? He was so so selfish when we were together that I find it astonishing he's actually going to get married... but then I can't imagine he would be so cruel as to marry for that. Who knows. Life has been hugely better without him anyway.

You poor love. My 'friend' (I don't see her any more) married a guy who she met on holiday. On that holiday he was away with the boys and had a girlfriend of seven years who he'd told he 'didn't believe in marriage'. He hooked up with my friend, dumped the old girlfriend the second he got home, and proposed to my friend one month to the day they met.

I often wondered how the ex, who I never met, dealt with it.

Now there wasn't anything extraordinary about my friend - I mean she was pretty anf all, but hardly Miss World or a Mensa member! I think that he left a relationship that was old and comfy in favour of lust. I don't doubt they love each other now but I did feel a bit about it, as obviously did his mates who had known his ex well.

I don't know what the message is here. I'm just saying - whatever image you have in your head of her, how she's got him to marry him - she is almost certainly a regular girl and not what you have in your head. Someone once said to me that guys marry because it's the right time not the right girl. I don't 100% believe that but I would guess he's wrapped up in the Oz adventure. Who knows how it'll pan out. Just focus on you

Just because he says he's getting married doesn't mean he is taking it seriously, will treat her well, or will be faithful.

This happened to me with my first serious boyfriend. Within about 9 months of splitting up with me he was married to someone else.
I was 17. That was a big deal to me at the time, and no one really thought anything of it in terms of understanding how I felt.
You're allowed to lick your wounds, but deep down you know you are better off without him.

'Do you reckon? He was so so selfish when we were together that I find it astonishing he's actually going to get married... but then I can't imagine he would be so cruel as to marry for that. Who knows. Life has been hugely better without him anyway.'

Yes, I do. People do stuff like this all the time.

Thanks posters. I don't know why it hit me so hard when I really have no feelings for him and haven't for months! It's bitterness I guess for everything I want and don't have.

OP didn't you write just a couple of days ago about an affair you had with a married 'separated' man who you were seeing?