I've posted before regarding my situation and the support was great. I hope it's not a problem if I recap and ask for help again.
Married for 13 years with three DC. Emotional and physical abuse in the relationship, and I finally had the courage to call it a day last summer. Living separately since, but the past few weeks had seen us becoming civil.
I have no surviving family so the child care is all down to me. I struggle. I needed a shoulder to cry on, I needed a helping hand and more than anything, needed a break mentally.
The past few days, it has all gone pear shaped again. Constant bickering, lack of communication and I guess on my part, a feeling of resentment. He is starting a new business in the next couple of weeks, has a large circle of friends, and has his freedom.
I on the other hand am now out of work because it's not ideal for me to continue working in the business we ran together before. He friend is now running it on his behalf and has also moved into his flat which means I don't get a break from the children as I don't want them staying in a house with a man they hardly know. That coupled with the fact the ex will be working all hours with it being a restaurant, I am feeling despair.
I'm worried about the future. I can hardly get my head out of my arse these days. I'm snappy and irritable and the kids don't deserve that. However, they are the only people I have in my life, and when they play up and argue, I wonder how I'm going to cope like this for the next ten years. I have nobody to give me a hug and to tell me it will be ok and it really hurts.
I have nothing when it comes to childcare, and so I am ploughing all my energy into a home wares and decor venture, but it just isn't going anywhere. There are so many big companies out there these days, that I just don't stand a chance. I feel like a failure. More than anything, I just feel like I'm existing. I lost my dad at 16, mum at 23 and my marriage at 31. What else can go wrong 