Will I ever enjoy having sex again?

[Nogoodinbed]

DH and I used to have an active sex life. I had depression about 4 years ago and things haven't been the same since then although we have managed to have DS who is now 7 months old.

At the moment I have no urge for sex at all. Don't know if this is do with my still breastfeeding; not sure whether whatever hormones there are floating round me turn me off sex completely. I am also taking the mini pill but to be honest it would be surprising if I managed to get pregnant again (also haven't had any periods since DS was born).

DH sometimes wants to have sex when we are going to bed - I just want to go to sleep! And we often end up making each other feel bad; I know he finds my body attractive and wants to have sex with me but I just don't want to and if we do find myself wishing it were over so I can go to sleep.

I've lost all my pregnancy weight and my body is OKish I suppose although I do feel that my breasts don't really belong to DH any more - having a baby sucking at them a lot rather takes away their other purpose in life.

Is there anyone else who feels the same way, or who has and then it's got better? Got some sex self help books out of the library yesterday as I am starting to feel a bit desperate - at the moment DH is just about OK with things but I know that wouldn't go on for ever and I would love to enjoy having sex again!

Took me ages after both babies to get back in the swing of things.

Definitely didn't want DH going anywhere near my breasts while I was b/feeding, just didn't feel 'proper'. I think the first few times we made love, I was doing it for him rather than me but ended up enjoying myself after all! He was very patient and understanding but I think I put the pressure on myself too much.

A great breakthrough was persuading Grandma to have the baby overnight - always felt much more interested in sex after a lie-in and breakfast in bed, but that's not an option while you're still feeding.

Now I'm more or less enjoying uninterrupted nights (kids 3 and 5 now), sex life is as good as ever, and not being on the pill means I am much more 'up for it' at certain times of the month - which DH looks forward to! I just need to persuade him to have the snip now......

Not sure this helps, other than to say, it does get better once you get your body back to yourself and some decent sleep.

Don't put yourself down - change your nickname to Sexonlegs and believe in yourself!

It will come good in time, don't despair and don't put too much importance on it - it's easy to think that everyone else is having far more sex than you are, but I doubt it's true!

I was exactly the same after the birth of my dd.

Especially the bit about wishing it was over....dh and I argued a lot about it. In my case it was definitely hormones, but of the synthetic kind: when I got off the pill things improved dramatically!!

I do think that breastfeeding and taking the pill might have something to do with it, but it's such a personal thing, it's different for everyone.

Sorry not sure if this was any help, but you have my full understanding....good luck!!

Hooray! We had "proper" sex this morning (hence the name change). Morning definitely better than evening and DS didn't wake up until after 7:30 which also helped.

We're going on holiday next week and it's DH's birthday while we're away so maybe he'll keep getting lucky

Thank you to those of you who have made me feel a bit more normal

glad to hear things are better!

enjoy your holidays!!!