Sorry if this is long but I'm stuck in a rut and want to get out, I don't no how!
Firstly I'm married, got 2 kids, one of which is husbands. I don't no where to start but I'm sick of my life at the moment, been fed up of our marriage for a year, I've realised how much of an a** hole my husband is. He's so horrible to my kid (the one that isn't his) since our child was born 2 years ago, always has a go at him for nothin, taps him, throws things at him, if son answers him back. But with our daughter she's
Can get away with anything. He's just a nasty, makes me feel sick inside, I try to stop it but then he turns on me, takes my iPad and phone off me and hides them. He even hid my straighteners and make up the other day cuz I apparently don't dress up for him. He said I should make an effort to wear nice clothes and do my hair n make up for him when he gets in from work at 10pm.. I like to be nice and warm in my pjs by then as I'm shattered from workin in the mornin and then lookin after the kids,school runs, and cleanin and doin tea! Just want to have a chill. Also if I work at night, I go at 4pm and come back at 11pm doin 2 hours of walkin around in the cold, doing community carer. But before I go work then I have to get up early do the school run, clean and look after the youngest whilst he's at work. But he doesn't like me workin, I'm gettin my dependence back and being more confident, he uses that I'm abandoning them now I've started work.
I've become to hate him, I can't stand being around him, he makes everything so miserable. He won't do anything as afamily or go on holidays cuz he doesn't want to
He kicks off and says I'm neglecting him if I don't want s*x, he will lie there waitin, if I get up without doin anything he will kick off, won't talk, go in a mood, and take my things off me cuz I'm apparently gettin it some where else.
When it was my birthday he decided to work, so my family decided to take me to my sisters pub for a take away and because I wasn't in by the time he finished and I wasn't back with his tea ready he gave me a lot of abuse down the phone, I decided to stay at my sisters for the night as my family heard it on the phone. But next day he was waitin outside the pub early mornin and wouldn't go unless I went so I went. But because I'm workin 3 hours on his birthday he's kicked off at me and said I should of had it off, I always got crap presents, he always spends loads on mine, and I'm not doing enough do care enough.
I live in a council house, both our names on it, i darent say anything about splitting up as he will smash things, go mentaland probably hurt me again. My anxiety is through the roof, I just want to run off. I haven't a clue where to start I just want to leave but don't no how
Sorry for being so long, this is barely what's goin on tho. Any advice but be great. Thank you :)