I split up with my husband 3 weeks ago. He dropped a massive bomb on me the night before and said we weren't getting on. This was news to me. The next day he walked out and went to his mums house. I have since got myself a car and claiming as a single parent. I miss him so much and can't see myself being without him. I sent him the message yesterday
I wrote this on Monday night. I've been too scared to send it so here goes.
Words can’t explain how terrified I’ve been to write you this, but i feel like it can’t hurt, Can it? Well, we’ll see. I just want you to know how i completely feel. The last thing i want is to come across your mind as needy and desperate. ( But thats not the case ) It's just my heart speaking.
I guess I’ve decided to write this because lately, I miss you so much it hurts. I miss looking forward to talking to you and seeing you everyday. I miss your cuddles. I miss when I would go to look at you, but you were already looking at me first. Some days I miss you so much i go through all the messages you wrote me, and it makes me smile, but then I wake up in the morning realise you’re not here anymore, and I get sad again. To hear i was your world, always made me feel special.
I’ve tried to convince myself i don’t want you anymore. But I just can’t let go. I don’t want to see you move on, but I’m not doing much about it either.
I could tell you how much Ive missed you for days and weeks , but I feel like it won’t make a difference.
I cannot put into words how I feel about you when I see you, hear you! My heart breaks just to be around you. I take in the way you move, the way you talk, whenever you are around although it may only be for brief moment, it’s enough to make my day.
These intense feelings will never go away.
Every day and night I thank god that you came into my life and I try to tell you how I feel, because what I feel for you exists inside my heart.
I often think of that wonderful evening when we first met-the first time I saw you – the first time we spoke to each other – the first time we touched – the first time I sung to you. Our first kiss that you gave me on my couch. It seems just like yesterday to me because I have always kept such precious memories constantly alive in the pages of my mind.
If you decide to open up your heart to me again, you will benefit from my improved personal standards which can only serve to elevate this relationship from the emotional state in which it seems to have found itself in. Every second we’ve been apart, every word, action and thought that has ever been spoken or passed, has travelled thru the depths of my mind And it makes me a better person everyday. I guess what I’m trying to say is that, look its not a need or neccesity to have you back, but its a choice instead to want to be with you again.
And my mind and heart choose to be with you – so look there’s a difference between needing you back and choosing to want to be with you. The purpose of this message is to let you acknowledge that I’m not asking for you to take me back right now, I don’t want to be selfish and pressure you to be back with me all over again. NO i dont want that! All im trying to say and gain from this message is for a little sign of hope that one day this storm will calm down and it will be sunny again between you and me again. Cause the way i feel about you is a really rare type of love.
He messaged me back saying he doesn't know what to do now as he did want me back but now solicitors are involved and our financial situation has changed he doesn't know what to think/do. I said we could start of slowly, go on dates and see how we get on.
He hasn't said anything since, just been speaking about the girls. Should I leave him to it or should I ask him out on a date? I would really like advice as my emotions are everywhere at the moment and I just want him home x