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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

opinions please

23 replies

dublingirl48653 · 02/02/2017 22:45

help me make my mind up

with my OH for 5 months
started off rocky - he went on dates while he led me to believe we were in a relationship - forgave him and thought that maybe I got wrong end of stick

had lots of good times together

however -

he tried to meet an ex at xmas while I was away
has sent very inappropriate messages to a girl 18 years younger than him
got angry one night and tore the duvet off the bed -flung on floor

and at the weekend - slagged off my cooking and the way in which I had been cleaning the house
I started to pack my bag - he begged me to stay

opinions please
LTB???

OP posts:
Somerville · 02/02/2017 22:46

Do you really have to ask, love?

oleoleoleole · 02/02/2017 22:47

LTB LTB LTB. ASAP!

Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 02/02/2017 22:49

I have spoke to friends

I know what I want

i guess I just needed to put it all down in writing and hear what others think

one of the above could be reason enough to leave
sad sad times
why did i put up with it all

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 02/02/2017 22:50

After 5 months it shouldn't be this much stress, ditch him

ImperialBlether · 02/02/2017 22:50

He's bloody horrible. You deserve so much better than this prick.

Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 02/02/2017 22:51

have been a nervous wreck in work
shaking
worrying he is texting other girls
hideous really

why do some of us put up with this?
the ripping the duvet off the bed was bad - he was super sweat that night so I said nothing !!!!

OP posts:
Checkthisout · 02/02/2017 22:52

For every dickhead guy, there's 5 decent ones out there, don't waste your time with him.

5 months, you should still be in the honeymoon period

Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 02/02/2017 22:52

yes
true

but i thought he may change and be nicer or more caring

OP posts:
iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 02/02/2017 22:53

5months? Shock please don't put up with any of that!

Somerville · 02/02/2017 22:55

He won't change. Well not for the better. He might get (even) worse when he's confident that you'll stay with him anyway.

Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 02/02/2017 22:56

so true

thank you guys

he is a nice guy
wil call him later

eye opener
now I see why his ex had to call the police and change the locks

OP posts:
jobanana · 02/02/2017 23:00

erm, that's a bad sign ... and that he actually told you that is even worse ...

Thank your lucky stars you've only wasted 5 months on it and haven't got a kid together. Hot foot it in the other direction as fast as you can.

Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 02/02/2017 23:01

the messages to the much younger girl almost tore me to shreds - in one message her heating had broke and he asked her over to his place for a bath

nice

she sent a pic one night of her wearing a very revealing dress - he showed it to me and asked me what I thought of her !!! who does that

apparently she had a crush on him and he was trying to let her down easily

OP posts:
Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 02/03/2017 23:21

so - im an idiot
no doubt about it

took him back

now four weeks later find out he slept with a girl in the first week when we had officially got into a relationship

what is wrong with me

now blocked and will never see him again but what was i thinking

OP posts:
Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 03/03/2017 00:11

Hang my head in shame

OP posts:
HumpMeBogart · 03/03/2017 01:05

But you'll never take him back again - and that's something to be proud of. You made a mistake that's all. Move on and don't give this knobgoblin any more space in your mind Flowers

Adora10 · 03/03/2017 11:44

Ok you've learned the hard way; do not accept shit treatment from anyone, even if it's Brad Pitt; your self esteem and self worth trump any man; he' s not a man anyway; just a sneaking immature cheat.

You won't make this mistake again at least.

Joysmum · 03/03/2017 11:46

I hope you've leaned your lesson. When someone treats you like shit, you have to think how to deal with things and not let feeling cloud your judgement.

hellsbellsmelons · 03/03/2017 12:41

The fact you have to ask is worrying.
What is your background?
Do you usually put up with shite from men?
You might want to look at why.
Counselling maybe?

PoorYorick · 03/03/2017 12:45

he is a nice guy

I hate to think what you think dickhead guys are.

AnyFucker · 03/03/2017 12:46

Oh dear

I suggest you get an std test. And look into The Freedom Programme. It seems your bar is set so low the chances are high you will walk straight into another relationship and get treated like dirt. Abusive men have radars for women prepared to tolerate such shitty treatment.

Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 05/03/2017 18:09

i have been a fool

i thought i was able to value myself

clearly not

OP posts:
Original poster
dublingirl48653 · 24/03/2017 20:36

thank you guys for the advice

been a clown
believed he was better than this

anyway
single like is easier - at least I have peace of mind

OP posts:
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