7 months separated and have fallen down a bit of a black hole

[Teepish]

Just wanting to check this is normal really

Thought I was doing really well - H thrown out last summer because of OW. Marriage wasn't great for a long time beforehand and split was coming anyway. H now in relationship with OW and sees our dd regularly, she adores him and really likes OW. This was almost overwhelming to deal with at first but I managed. Even though H has been nothing but disrespectful, rude and unhelpful with me the entire time.
So anyway. Had an evening out with a friend a couple of weeks ago that I was really looking forward to, and it ended up falling flat. I realised that I had changed,and no longer enjoyed what I used to for years. Next morning I woke up in my quiet, empty house (dd with her dad) and felt so completely alone. It was awful. I cried all day.
Since then I've just gone through the motions - have done all the basics for dd but haven't fed myself properly, house is a mess, haven't even showered as much as I should have - was going to an exercise class I loved but haven't been in 2 weeks. I feel like I've died inside
The cold, hard truth that I've been trying to deny for so long is that I am still heartbroken that dd no longer has her parents together for her as a proper family, that I LONG for a kind, loving man who wants to look after us, and that I simply prefer leading a quiet life on my own without much socializing in the meantime. It feels too boring and sad but its what I actually want.
Almost signed up to online dating but it made me even more upset...I don't want to talk to/date these strange men...it made me feel vulnerable and insecure.
Sorry this is so long, can anyone reassure me that this is a normal part of the separating process

You are heartbroken, this is normal! You are doing great, really. You might feel ok and then like this again and up and down but this is just part of it and it's complete shit but you are surviving it. Just baton down the hatches until you feel ready to face things, listen to yourself and just do what feels right now. Stay in, hide and eat the malteasers if you want to. Picture yourself like a wounded animal (I'm not calling you an animal) but if you got a belt of a car, you would take time to recover and brave going out again, it's normal. You will get there, please be kind to yourself.

Hi Teepish.

I'm on a similar timeframe to you. I fell down a black hole on Tinder. I'm glad you steered clear of OLD - you are wiser than me :)

How lovely of you to realise that it's good your DD likes OW (that causes even me to feel pain when I write it, so god know how much that hurts you...).

My ex got with a new GF the same night he left me,...... so similar situation. They're buying a house together and moving in. My kids are coping well but I bet they are confused inside.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to have quiet time to yourself, if you're generally an introvert type anyway. As long as you give socialising a go - as you MAY feel better if you force yourself. And also watch out for signs of unhealthy solitude. Giving showering and cleaning a miss sounds pretty understandable - the 'whats the point' attitude - but if that doesn't sort itself out in a few weeks - perhaps think more???

Anyway, no advice, just wanted to say hi, well done and that we are all amazing :) Where abouts are you - what age group is your DD? Some men are twats arent they? well done for being mature with him .

Harvest a massive well done to you. It is traumatic when your life changes into something scary and unrecognizable isn't it - but weirdly wonderful when you visualize your bright new future - best of luck to you.
3luckystars the hatches were well and truly battened down this past week, just starting to feel vaguely "normal" again now thank God. It really felt bleak when I posted this thread, I felt so alone normally I enjoy solitude. I totally get the wounded-animal thing, totally agree with it as a coping mechanism. And chocolate!
Hello RebelSoldier I'm so sorry you're having to go through this shit. That gut wrenching feeling of discovering another woman its hideous. In my case he was a major problem taken off my hands, but there were earlier infidelities and they just broke me, I was physically ill. And when you imagine how your children feel about their home life being broken and them being sad lots of luck to you
dd is 5 and full of cheek and doing well at school, so luckily doing okay. All I care about (and obsess about tbh) is her being able to look back when she is older and remember her mum as being strong and responsible when she hopefully sees her fathers true colours.