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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Much needed advice please.

3 replies

Hollyrose79 · 02/02/2017 21:04

Hi ladies.
Am at the end of my tether and after some fresh insight/ideas please.
I told my husband I wanted a separation in October. Shortly after he had a case for sexual harrasment brought against him at work, which apparently was "blown out of all proportion" but followed said girls boyfriend coming round to our house and punching him several times. Anyhow this was the final nail in the coffin in the marriage following a prolonged period of emotional abuse, verbal punch bagging and general shitty moody grumpy behaviour bringing both myself and our 2 small girls down.
He has been in denial for the proceeding months..promising he can change, making me go to counselling, begging pleading when it's dead..I need to move on now. He is refusing to move out, I am struggling to find a way out with the children. I want to keep the house and have told him I can raise the money to buy him out but he is hell bent on not letting me..as I am the unhappy one I should be the one to go. He has used every trick in the book and I am at my wits end. Everything i have been told by solicitors etc he revokes..how do I get out of this shitty situation..?xx

OP posts:
scoobydoo1971 · 02/02/2017 21:34

The only way to resolve this would be through divorce proceedings. That could sort of child custody, living arrangements and finances all in one go. You could divorce him for 'unreasonable behaviour' (abuse, allegations etc). With small children at home, the courts would mostly probably rule in your favour as this is their family home.

ginswinger · 02/02/2017 21:36

Sounds as though you need to get papers issued so it's real to him. Move the divorce on and you can get a financial settlement. You may need to get the courts to award you the house if he won't go.

Hollyrose79 · 03/02/2017 07:10

Thanks for the advice. I guess I knew that was the only way to go..but things are so unbearable here I am on the point of removing myself and the girls from the house because it's not fair on them to go through it. Do you think this will this go against me if I do...?

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