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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does anyone have experience of men using viagra?

23 replies

Hellowyellow · 02/02/2017 19:58

Found out recently partner has been buying viagra in secret. Twice in the last three months. Confronted him and he says he's had trouble getting a 'full erection' sometimes and didn't tell me as he found it embarrassing. I've never noticed any problems in that department. He claims I wouldn't necessarily have noticed.

This doesn't make sense to me - if it was only occasional, how did he know when to take one? Would I have noticed if he'd taken it with me? Would he have found it difficult to come or wanted to do it more than once? Never noticed any of this happening.

Also, has anyone caught their partner buying viagra in secret when there hasn't been other signs of cheating? Obviously alarm bells are ringing. I found out at the same time he'd taken an std test (we've been together 4 years, he says he had a pain in his testicle and thought a full screening would be a good idea).

Unfortunately he does have a history of cheating. I felt pretty certain that he's been doing it again after finding these two things but he's doing a good job explaining it away. I'd be very grateful for any advice!

OP posts:
Imaginesthat · 02/02/2017 20:08

I found a wrapper for it down the back of my sofa and googled it .. he wasn't using it with me

Imaginesthat · 02/02/2017 20:09

He told me he was sold some down the pub and it didn't work.. liar liar pants on fire

Hellowyellow · 02/02/2017 20:13

What did you do Imagines?

OP posts:
scoobydoo1971 · 02/02/2017 20:36

If he is buying 'Viagra' on the internet or the pub, there is a good chance it is a fake drug. They can be harmless placebo pills, or dangerous poisons. Viagra should only be taken under medical supervision as it is not suitable for all men. Some men take it as they believe it will enhance sexual performance. If he had a serious performance problem, he could have obtained Viagra from his doctor.

You obviously don't trust him and if he has a history of cheating then your suspicions may be warranted. On a personal health note, please get yourself checked out with the doctor if you think you may have been exposed to std infections. If you don't want to see your GP, go to a walk-in centre. Some of these are fairly silent in terms of symptoms and early treatment is important.

Imaginesthat · 02/02/2017 20:39

Well we are no longer together as he was sleeping with anyone with a pulse but this was when I had no clue

YetAnotherGuy · 05/02/2017 23:46

I'm afraid that you are almost certainly correct with your suspicions

It is being used to have sex over a 6 hour period

Plus the std test clinches it imho

And I normally read these pages and can be quite shocked how quickly people rush to judgement. Not here though

Sorry ...

HarmlessChap · 06/02/2017 00:15

After a 2 years without sex we DTD a few times last year (we have problems) I could tell that everything wasn't working properly the 1st time, DW didn't but the old boy was fading fast, 2nd time was the same. I'd also noticed that I wasn't staying hard as long with solo activity so realised I had a problem and was prescribed sildenafil, the generic name for viagra. The difference was significant the one time after, we've not DTD since June, but if when we DTD again I suspect I'll need a higher dose as its fading faster than ever in solo activity.

For me there is a medical cause for the ED which I'm trying to get addressed.

Hellowyellow · 06/02/2017 20:48

Thanks for your replies. Yes, no-one gets an std test unless they really think they've been exposed to something do they? Plus I know he did it sort of urgently and was keen to get results asap. You don't just do that, sorry.

Thank you harmlesschap for sharing your experience. It does sound like you have a genuine problem and I hope you can get it sorted. Did you talk to your DW about it at all?

OP posts:
HarmlessChap · 06/02/2017 23:35

Did you talk to your DW about it at all?
Yes, but not until after being prescribed. It was quite a difficult discussion to have as personally I found the need for medication quite emasculating.

SandyY2K · 06/02/2017 23:47

Getting the STD check is more worrying than the viagra TBH. If he didn't think he'd been exposed, a trip to the GP for a prostate examination would have been more in order.

That he plunged for an STD test to me tells me exactly what's been going on.

HarmlessChap · 07/02/2017 17:05

Yes the STD thing has to be because he cheated, the question is whether thought he's caught something from the historical cheating which you are already aware of or whether he's been at it again.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 07/02/2017 17:14

My dh bought some dodgy viagra when we first met because he wanted to impress me with his longevity and manliness. He was so violently ill, and I believed he had food poisoning as I had cooked for him. Only later found out why he was so ill! Stupid bloke. This was in the fledgling days of our relationship. I do remember it being a pretty good night though, before the vomiting. Afterwards I was a bit concerned that he would buy something like that, off a drug dealer no less, and not say anything, when he didn't need it anyway.

BlueFolly · 07/02/2017 17:24

If you had a pain in your testicle you'd go to the doctor. If you'd only slept with one person in the last 4 years you would not immediately think, 'better get an STD test'.

DrMorbius · 07/02/2017 17:41

I found out at the same time he'd taken an std test (we've been together 4 years, he says he had a pain in his testicle and thought a full screening would be a good

That has to be the worst excuse i have ever heard.Angry

Where is he buying the Viagra from?

HarmlessChap · 07/02/2017 18:04

Where is he buying the Viagra from?
You can buy Viagra from any prescribing pharmacy, many Asda pharmacies do it, you just need to go through a short consultation.

If I need to get more I shall look into it further as its probably easier getting an appointment out of my working hours than it is with the Dr, and as I'm self employed it may well be cheaper than me paying someone to cover me as for the morning/afternoon as I can't just call someone in for an hour.

DrMorbius · 07/02/2017 18:23

Harmless you can buy it online from reputable pharmacists (superdrug, etc so), you don't even need to be present.

I meant was Op's DH buying the real stuff, or the joke crap from a toilet/petrol station?

Hellowyellow · 08/02/2017 21:04

He was doing the online pharmacy thing. Fill out a form, a doctor checks it and prescribes and you go pick up the drugs.

He ordered an std test from the same service. It's how I found out.

OP posts:
ThisSpoonySquid · 26/02/2026 07:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Whowhatwhere21 · 26/02/2026 08:15

It doesn't mean cheating, but I'd have my suspicions i think. My partner was your partner. Had ED sometimes and also has testicular pain. He used viagra occasionally when he needed it and he went to the Dr for the pain. Not once did he think of an STD test and still hasn't had one since the pain started 4 years ago. Its the STD test that would have me suspicious, why immediately jump to think that's the cause of the pain unless you know you've slept with someone else and its a possibitly

FloydPink · 26/02/2026 17:15

I have used it with previous girlfriends, and never told them as its not something I want to be known - its normally just early on in a relationship where I feel there is pressure to perform and you dont want to have any issues. Once I feel comfortable its not an issue.

You can buy from many online pharmacies including Morrison & Asda.

If there are other signs then maybe something is up but him using it and keeping it a secret on its own, is not an issue

Nosdacariad · 26/02/2026 18:41

My ex used it and I didn't realise until he stopped.

I'd also think the STD test was odd.

UpDownAllAround1 · 26/02/2026 19:48

zombie thread - was from 2017!

Chatterlyssecret · 26/02/2026 21:23

Bloodshot eyes in the morning will tell you if he is using Viagra, it’s one of the side effects,

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