My wife want separation

[Martin35]

Hi guys asking for some words of advice. Myself & wife have been together for 16 years since we were young. We have had gd times & bad. I have messed up a few family events by being to drunk & this has hurt her. The relationship has not been right for a year. Before Christmas she had a one night stand, which hurt but I am willing to give it a try. We have two kids 7 & 9, which I care deeply for. We have had two marriage Councilling sessions which have been useful. She says her love for me is like that of a old friend not what it should be & cant forgive herself ATM. I have shown her nothing but love since but she is unable to give back & I have been to much for her ATM. She wants to separate to be on her own to figure out what she wants I have sorted a flat but is another 5 weeks away. I don't know if this is the right thing or just to get me out the door. I want r family & her love back more than anything. My heart is broken & can not focus on anything else which is doing me more harm than gd. She said she would like a month of peace & I think freedom & is strong willed then we will got out on a date. Help please am I being played? Or is there hope? How can I deal with this situation better? Help!!!

It sure is!! As well as the reality of the situation never thought my kids would have two places to call home

Thank you she hasn't slept well since waking up at 3 every morning etc my daughter was in the car as well. Think it brought on that what have I done in my life situation. I want to do all the things we promised ourself but have never done. But she is unsure what she wants from life

That was an extremely stressful, life threatening event so it wouldn't be surprising if your wife gets flashbacks as well as trouble sleeping.
Has she spoken to her doctor about it?
For her own benefit obviously, but also because she's your children's mother.

In the meantime try and keep everyday life as normal as possible for the children.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Sorry it sounds as though she wants to end things but is letting you down gently.

You say you've messed up a few family events, are you minimising here, is there more to it? Would it be a totally different story if she came on here and told her side?

She loves you like an old friend, does she want to get feelings back for you?

She has started to now went on sleeping pills for a bit. This is my worry too, she is still the mother of my kids, I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I think this is why I have stuck around & not moved to. I feel like I need to make sure she is ok before I move out.

I think she wants to get the old feelings back but wants to see if she misses me being part of her life & forgive herself. Think the best way is to plough forward to be the person I want to be & see if that is the person she wants

I maybe making it less than what it was, just feel like I have come to late to the party. I know I have done wrong just hope the hurt is not unrepaireable.

I feel the Councilling has taken her side & not looked at my side, might be as it's a women I can't tell u. All I know in r sessions we only looked at me not her

I wish you all the best with it all. Only you know your wife as well as you do. If you believe she's heading in a certain direction, then go with that. Either way, it's not going to be easy. Take each day as it comes, what will be will be.

Sounds like she is trying to be kind and letting you down gently. However you actively making plans to keep your businesses away from her in the event of a split sounds downright mean. You say she never supported you doing this so I dont suppose she was working/taking care of the kids/house to enable you to grown YOUR business?? Add on your past drink problems you dont sound much of a catch either. Let her go.