DD has never had a boyfriend/kissed anyone/etc.

[19DDaughter]

She's 19. I'm just a bit worried. Would you be a little bit concerned? I don't really know what I'm concerned about, but it just seems a little worrying (for no reason that I can explain).

I had a friend like this. She met someone in her twenties and settled down though. I wouldn't worry.

I didn't kiss anyone properly until I was 19. To be honest, I don't feel as if I missed out on much. This is your daughter's business only, she'll do these things when the time is right for her. I was conscious that my Mum was aware of it, though, and worried about what she would think/ whether she was disappointed and regarded me as a freak. This made me very anxious and evenue more shy, looking back. I certainly don't want to suggest it's the same case for your daughter, but I think the best thing to do would be to accept the situation, and let her approach you to talk about it if she ever feels she wants to.

My daughter was 19 when she met her very first boyfriend and they have just bought a house together, I know what you mean I used to worry, but some girls just aren't like that, they don't need to experiment and try lots of men out, my daughter is extremely confident but also very quiet I don't worry about her any more, it is nice that you're daughter can talk to you about these things. Someone she likes will turn up soon, be thankful she is not settling for any Tom, Dick or Harry!!!

*even more shy!

I've heard this before, I'm sure 🤔 Leave her alone.

I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 18, so I'd say this is normal?

I was the same. I wasn't really interested in those early practice relationships with people who weren't quite right, and waited until I found someone who was just right for me. I tend to be the same with friendships, and have a few very close friends.

better to be like your dd in many ways, at least she will be likely to meet the right person for her, several of my dd2's friends have had kids at 14 /15 and i don't that is a good idea esp, as the so called fathers don't seem to stick around to support them or their kids but go onto breed else where with other girls /women no nicer way of putting it imo

My first kiss and boyfriend was 19. Be glad she is waiting for the right guy/gal to come along!

Yes she might meet someone in due course. Or, alternatively, she might not meet someone, and still lead a happy and productive life.

The relationships board is full of broken down relationships, and not a few post-relationship posts where people talk about being happier now they are single. It's not as though being in a relation guarantees happiness.

I was 24 when I slept with someone for the first time! I'm glad I waited - it was DH!

Eugh. Why be so involved in your adult child's love life? It's her life to do what she wants!

I went to school with a girl who's mum encouraged her and her bf to share a hotel room when she was aged 16 because she'd never had another bf before. It was so sick.

My 20 yr old ds has never had a girlfriend. He is not bothered. He says he is too busy doing his own thing at this time.

My daughters slightly younger, 17 and she's never kissed a boy. We talk all the time so it's not me guessing! She's far too involved with her horse and competing on her than boys. I think it's a refreshing change and I'm just happy she's happy.

The boyfriend thing is a red herring. Is she socially comfortable? Good social life? Is she having the social/sexual experiences that she wants to? That's all you need to worry about. I had a boyfriend at 15 and consider it more as part of my social development more than anything.
And I certainly didn't get pregnant by him! .

19DDaughter Tue 31-Jan-17 17:21:00

"I don't know, I just remember that part of my teenage years were kissing the boy behind the bike shed, etc. it just seemed like that was part of the teenage years. I'm not saying that's what I think is right! I just considered that 'normal'."

She is not you. Her life is not your life. Your normal will probably not be her normal. She's like... an individual.

For the record, I had never had a boyfriend or (to the best of my recollection) kissed anyone when I was just 19. 6 months later I had met the man I am still together with nearly 35 years later. That happened to be my life, my normal.

My dd will no doubt have a totally different one.

Have you posted about this previously OP?

Nothing made me feel more awful about my lack of teenage lovelife than my mother going on about it and questioning was I a lesbian. I was shy and wouldn't talk about boys with my mum and certainly didn't tell her when I first kissed a boy let alone did anything else. Sometimes there are boundaries that don't need to be crossed. If it doesn't bother her then leave it alone, if it does bother her she clearly doesn't want to be talking about it with her mum.

Op hasn't posted about this before asaik but there was a post a weeks back where the OP was 19 and just not interested in meeting anyone or having friends although felt her parents didn't believe her that she was fine as she is

I have a close friend who is still a virgin. He has kissed a total of five girls once each and has never had a relationship or a date. He is 40 now.

At 19 I wouldn't be worried. From 31 onwards i admit to being a little worried for him but he seems happy enough.

Hasn't there been a similiar post to this from a 19 year old daughter ?

I was the same, but don't worry I'd moved out, got engaged and pushed out a baby in under 2 years from my first kiss.

As far as i am aware my 19yo DD hasn’t had a boyfriend or been kissed. The pool of boys at her school did not interest her at all. She is at uni now and appears to have a big group of friends, both male and female, but she has never hinted at any romances. Having said that, she is not one for sharing such information so maybe i am wrong. I am happy that she is having fun and getting an education. Plenty of time for relationships as she gets older.

You should not be worrying that she never will - it's up to her what she does when, and she really doesn't need to be getting the message that you're worried and think she isn't 'normal'.
And if she ever says that SHE is worried, tbh you should be there to reassure her that there is no 'normal', lots of people don't have romantic relationships till they're in their 20's or later, and that she is lovable, and is sure to meet someone who special.

I think she's probably escaped a lot of crap from immature boys. She'll ve fine.