DRY 17

[Loubilou09]

[This message is actually from Sober Sarah! She wanted this thread to start with links everyone will find useful. MNHQ]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting ebach other every step of the way. smile
We have put together some helpful info and links, to help you do this Smile tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

Tired of thinking about drinking, Belle's website filled with free stuff as well as subscription courses and an account of her four years sober.

joinclubsoda.co.uk/ Club Soda - to help you make the change you want.
www.sobersassylife.com Sober Sassy Life - A Selection of Articles, Blogs and Freebies to get you unstuck, and on the way to your Sober Sassy Life! Also has paid for courses.
thesoberschool.com/ - an online hub with the mission of inspiring and supporting women who are tired of feeling hungover

www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour - podcasts on a huge range of issues relating to addiction and recovery

www.smartrecovery.org.uk/ - an alternative to AA. Meetings nationwide and online.

Useful meditation or relaxation apps
www.headspace.com Headspace for calming the brain chatter
www.withandrewjohnson.com Andrew Johnson stop drinking app
Helpful blogs from people who are sober
sothisissober.com/ our own vxa's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lily's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lucy's blog
www.sobergrowing/blogspot.co.uk our own Sober Sarah's blog

All of these blogs contain links to loads of other brilliant blogs.

Sobriety counters
meetnomo.com/index.html
www.pilanites.com/streaks/

Hope this helps you ! Love Sober Sarah and Vxa

Just realised that I do have a achievement - it's been 10 months since I last physically saw parents and 7 months since NC.

I'm back to Day 1 again. But at least I've made progress there.

to all x

I think it says more about my friend than anything.... I know she's struggling a little with 'life' and we had some fairly in depth chats last time I visited... I was hinting heavily at the extent of my drinking, possibly looking for a friend to give me the shake I needed, but didn't happen - I think I have previously 'normalised' many people's drinking habits.... they're not as bad as me so it must be ok!!!

I'm not worried about being tempted too much, just the verbal flak/justifying... but as usual most likely over thinking it!! Once they see I am still the same bonkers bird without the wine they probably won't notice - and it's more wine for them!!!

If I chucked it due to pregnancy no one would bat an eyelid..... it's not that 'weird'!!!

I suppose it's just another milestone along my sober journey... wait till they see the weight I have lost

phoenix congrats on 10 months.

But FGS about your workplace. That is so shoddy.

Your union rep- I assume you have union access to employment lawyers? I wish you the strength to stand strong in the face of such appalling treatment.

BG focus on the weight! Focus on the weight! I wish you strength also.

No news here. I am hoping to get DH to do the school run so I can walk for an hour.(I have put on weight. )

Onwards everyone. KOKO. xxxxxxxx

Hi everyone shy wave I'm new here, was directed here by the lovely loubielou.
Trying to lose 5 stone in weight at the same time as drying out. This is the longest I haven't drank in 12 years, it was heavily everyday towards the end. Managed 16 days so far

Welcome libby!!

16 days is fantastic. You have broken the back of any withdrawals.

I'm trying to lose 3 stone.

Good to see you. :)

Thanks for the welcome ☺
Not lost any weight yet but I'm sure people are right when they say my body is probably just thinking 'what the hell is going on' since I've abused it all these years. Looking forward to seeing some results in the nearea future.

Hi everyone.:)

I hopeto see some results too, libby. When I first went AF i went bananas on sugar and out on 2stone. I am trying to get that off also, so am focusing hard on drinking plain water and eating good nourishing wholefoods.

I get dispirited though about it.

I'm dispirited at the moment too. I'm longing for a loss when I weigh-in on Tuesday cos I'm already tempted to drink so a maintain/gain I fear will send me back to square one.

AliceByTheMoon

Thanks there x And yes, do have a union rep who is being fab.

To everyone else - brave ladies x

Hey everyone and welcome libby, 16 days is fab well done.

Haven't been on the thread much as I have been bargaining big time with myself all week. The weather has been glorious for a week and the sunshine has made the cravings hit with a passion. I've missed sitting out in the evening sunshine with a glass in my hand and nearly walked to the shop several times to get something bubbly.

I did playing the tape to the end and the hungover getting dc up for school the next day while trying to piece how I went to bed didn't seem worth it.

Still here, slightly grumpy, but still here.

Hi burnt,

You can also play the tape out another way, or at least I do, that I can still out in the sunshine with a glass in hand, it's just that I choose what's actually in the glass... so the 'treat' is the sitting out, fresh air, relaxing, not the wine.....

I often find myself asking would it matter if i had a drink right now, and almost immediately the voice in my head says and would it matter if you didn't...

I've lost some weight, but my skin is still terrible... I'm currently trying and failing not to poke and squeeze at four considerable eruptions... I have a follow up appointment after my hospital admission with the GP on Monday so might ask then..... It's the same GP I found very dismissive back in December when I started my journey, and I'm really hoping he's a little more encouraging!! I can't make up my mind if i want to be able to say I've done X days sober, or if that will make me look like I am desperately counting them - which generally I'm not... some days I forget completely...

He possibly won't even mention it.......

My name is BGJ43 and I chucked the booze!!

Onwards, together we are a bad ass bunch!! And I like that.....

Last night I tried the Kooperberg alcohol-free pear cider. I liked it, not TOO sweet (although sweet) and it just meant I had something. Would that work for the sitting in the sun moments?

(I also stopped a craving stone cold dead by googling cirrhotic livers... that is NOT for the faint hearted.)

KOKO Sober Warriors. xx

We are bad ass! What we are doing si so counter-culture!

(Bad grammar, but hey ho!)

I love 'counter culture'..........

Love it too Not a fan of Kopperberg, even the alcohol version Alice, far too sweet for me.

I know you're right BG, just feeling a little deprived and hard done by lately but I'll get through it. I think part of the problem is having so much health stuff going on the past while and no time to myself at all. I'm an introvert and feel extremely stressed out when I don't have space and alone time to recharge my batteries. Drinking was almost my mental 'me time' even if others were here, probably a bit sad that it gave me the ability far too often to switch off from family life for a few hours.

In fact I'm having the first night to myself in absolutely ages tonight, which I'm both looking forward to but slightly nervous about as it gives me a green light to do what I want and not having anyone to answer to drink wise. I was offered booze twice already today (end of a morning out shopping)! I'm going to a vegan festival in the morning though so want to be bright and breezy for that. Never would have guessed a year ago I'd be interested in that sort of thing, being a very confirmed meat eater

Good luck with the appointment BG, hope you get your skin sorted. I haven't been asked the alcohol question from the doctors in years.

burnt i relate 100% to the 'mental 'me' ' time.

Hope your evening is great. x

A lovely day out to the seaside today.... new walk to explore, fish & chips and strawberry ice cream cone to round things off....

Some light hearted banter last night, it once I explained the extent of my drinking previously they were pretty supportive, in a teasing sort of way - I wouldn't expect anything less... [grim]

Currently on the Diet Coke which is a bit of a blast from the past!!

Onwards, CCC (counter culture chics)

Hi im new to mumsnet; I have now finally realised that I need to stop drinking I don't drink all week when I'm working but I do on a Friday and Saturday - I'm 44 years old and am in a happy relationship for the past 6 years and have a 14 year old son when I drink I don't know when to stop and I get in such a state that I don't want to go home it worries me and I have now realised it's having a bad effect on my son and partnet who I both love dearly as they worry about me and as my son said to his grandma he wants to fix mum - i dont understand why i do it and what triggers it off I am a lovely kind hard working person yet it's like I want to ruin everything when I drink - does anyone have any experience of this?

So good to have you join us LittleBear. :)

IME drinking does ruin everything. I feel like I self sabotage when i drink.

triggers......you say you drink at the weekend... what are your thoughts around ti? Is it tiredness? Thinking you deserve a 'reward' ? is there something else you can do to give you that feeling?

tell us more. :)

[I haveto log off for a few hours so don't think I am reading and running but will be back later].

Good to see you.

Hi littlebear

I would encourage you to read as much of this post (and those preceding it) as someone will say something, describe how we all feel in a particular way, or offer a coping mechanism and it will fit for you and your lifestyle...

We're all different,and our reasons for wanting to stop drinking are many and varied, but we're all here because we want to stop drinking, and collectively that's a very strong movement.

I 100% get the 'self sabotage' feeling; for me it feels like self harming in slow motion - I knew it wasn't good, it wasn't healthy and ultimately could/would kill me, but I couldn't quite stop it...

I lurked on these threads for a long time having stumbled across them completely by accident...

Whilst I've had a great weekend, I am tired and completely hormonal which has left me feeling a bit bewildered today - a bit what is it all about, what am I doing/not doing... But I know I will sleep better/longer tonight, that damn period will arrive and it will all make sense again... Just a hangover (sic) of spending my first sober weekend with very good friends who I think in reality struggled to access my soberness; friends i would usually have been paralytic with...

So start with not drinking today (which you wouldn't anyway), and that's day one done - read the posts and see if you think any of the advise might work for you and reinforce until Friday and the witching hour arrives...

You're here with us now, and that's the hardest part done.....

Onwards

Thank you AliceByTheMoon and BGJ43 for your replies, I wish I could pin point what it was that triggers it off when I think back to my younger years I was generally ok with drinking - I knew when I had reached my limit and would stop but nowadays once I start to have a drink I just seem to go on and on until its too late and I've had too much and the night ends up being a disaster. I really don't have any friends which has been like that since school I've tended to just keep myself to myself - I was going to the gym until September last year which did make me feel a lot better but slipped out of the habit I have just joined a new gym and I am going to pop there tomorrow for a lunchtime class hopefully if I can pluck up the courage. I will spend some time later reading all the other posts and hopefully gain some more insight into the way I feel - thank you

Morning everyone.

I hope the gym class goes well LittleBear! I so need to get back to the gym...

BG I would love to hear from you more (if you wish to) about your weekend and how you handled it. I have two extremely difficult experiences coming up- a weekend that we host friends of DH which is an annual thing and which I always find really trying and stressful, and then a few days hosting friends of the extended family which I am also going to find stressful, as they are huge drinkers- usually pissed out of their skulls by breakfast (seriously) and then they become a bit antagonistic. I have in the past when seeing them before pushed the fuckit button because drinking made exposure to them easier.

It's a long story, but I cannot get out of either of these visits, and I am starting to get really anxious and worried.Not helped that DH is away all week so he is not even around to help me shop, get the spare junk room cleared etc.

ABTM - i had preempted my visit by telling my friends i was still off the booze (i had mentioned it briefly at the time we agreed the dates etc). And then a little of why I was off the booze when challenged - as much as I felt comfortable with divulging - I've known these people long enough that I felt happy to tell them how bad things had got, and that I felt i had reached a place where I HAD to stop. They got that, and more or less left me with my fizzy water (they had asked what I might like in place of the wine) - and I insisted on drinking it out of a champagne flute as they were on the prosecco... I also tend to make a bit of a joke about things - in general, it's my way of coping - so telling them to stop fretting about the reasons why, but to enjoy the fact there was more wine for them, it was cheaper for them, and if needed we now had a designated driver... Just trying to make light of it - cos in reality for me it was a big deal, but it's 'my' big deal if that makes sense.

Also found that once they had had a glass or two they didn't really care much whether I was drinking or not...

It sounds like your visits/visitors are going to be a lot more testing, and less understanding (perhaps I am being unfair - having never met these people).. So although the above worked for me, it may not for you... But I was fairly resolute before i went that I wasn't going to drink, and any sort of peer pressure or negative comments were NOT going to sway me - I had come too far to 'fail' now - that I wanted this (sobriety) more than I was worried about dealing with other peoples reactions. Keep reminding yourself why you started the journey - that it's your journey and actually nobody else's business. Get something in that's a treat for you (chocolate milk?) and try to work out some strategies beforehand to avoid the 'fuck it' option (scream into a pillow, kick fuck out of cardbboard box, stick pins in a doll - whatever helps)...

And drinking won't make it easier - but you know that already

could you pour yourself a glass of just tonic (or similar), add the lemon and tell them it's gin?

Or something wine coloured into a wine glass? if you are the host, could that work... And then just not let on... people rarely see what they are not looking for!

Just a thought

Hi everyone, I've been reading through this and previous threads. I read so many posts by others that sound so familiar to what I've been going through that I know I will keep following this thread. I don't have any trouble drinking responsibly when out and about, but don't go out much anymore. I fell into the habit of wine at home in the evening once the kids were up, as a means of relaxing, having wine during weekends sometime from mid-afternoon, and also having a glass with dinner. I was getting close to a bottle a day and realised I felt rotten, was sluggish in the mornings, and was putting on weight. When I took the decision enough was enough, I tried to cut down, and I can't begin to tell you how helpful reading this thread has been. It's been hard -especially when the kids are up in bed, but with the exception of 2 cocktails my husband made during Eurovision on Saturday, I've had no wine at all for 9 days. I had no trouble giving up when I was pregnant, but on and off over 15 years, I've really struggled to cut down. I've always tried to cut down alone though, feeling embarrassed to talk to anyone about it. I'm sick of feeling upset with myself and worthless, having a sore head about 2 days of the week, feeling worried about how my liver and kidneys are doing. 9 days in...my skin is breaking out (hopefully a good sign). I have been substituting my usual craving with some gluten and alcohol free lager (60 cals) skimmed milk drink, and lavender tea. I'll keep checking into the thread to update how I am getting on - it will help me sharing my experiences and following all yours. Many thanks for listening.