DRY 17

[Loubilou09]

[This message is actually from Sober Sarah! She wanted this thread to start with links everyone will find useful. MNHQ]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting ebach other every step of the way. smile
We have put together some helpful info and links, to help you do this Smile tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

Tired of thinking about drinking, Belle's website filled with free stuff as well as subscription courses and an account of her four years sober.

joinclubsoda.co.uk/ Club Soda - to help you make the change you want.
www.sobersassylife.com Sober Sassy Life - A Selection of Articles, Blogs and Freebies to get you unstuck, and on the way to your Sober Sassy Life! Also has paid for courses.
thesoberschool.com/ - an online hub with the mission of inspiring and supporting women who are tired of feeling hungover

www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour - podcasts on a huge range of issues relating to addiction and recovery

www.smartrecovery.org.uk/ - an alternative to AA. Meetings nationwide and online.

Useful meditation or relaxation apps
www.headspace.com Headspace for calming the brain chatter
www.withandrewjohnson.com Andrew Johnson stop drinking app
Helpful blogs from people who are sober
sothisissober.com/ our own vxa's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lily's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lucy's blog
www.sobergrowing/blogspot.co.uk our own Sober Sarah's blog

All of these blogs contain links to loads of other brilliant blogs.

Sobriety counters
meetnomo.com/index.html
www.pilanites.com/streaks/

Hope this helps you ! Love Sober Sarah and Vxa

Hob not job!

Well done for speaking to your gp Rarity. I have suffered on and off with anxiety since I was a teenager and drinking makes it far worse. Especially with hangovers, nearly every time I had horrendous panic attacks the next day. I feel in a much more even keel these days; I hope it works for you and the phone call to work went well.

Welcome to the thread jenny, you've made the first step. Sounds very scary and hope you're ok. Don't want to appear glib but put the past behind you, you've learnt from it and have so much now to look forward to

I read it years ago Just, he SHOUTED A LOT I remember

Good tip with the teabags Sarah, noted.

Hi Rarity, nice to hear from someone at the same stage as me. I went to my GP today, he checked my injuries over and gave me details of our local nhs addiction service.
I am separated from my son's father, he is still pretty hands on so my son was staying at his Dad's on Tuesday and he was able to take him last night to let me recover and cover up the worst of the bruising before DS seen me. We're having a movie day today and my friend is watching him for a bit tonight so I can try AA meeting nearby.
Can I ask, you say you started your AF journey on Tuesday but mention stopping before, were you looking to quit temporarily previously or were you aiming to stop forever then?

I was aiming to moderate, to make not drinking the norm and drinking the exception (weekends, meals out etc). Pretty quickly (over a few months) morphed back into daily glass or two of wine. Then daily bottle of wine and sometimes gin after. It's not how I want to live anymore.
Evenings aren't easy on your own after LO in bed. I was a single mum for 2 years and my current DP works nights. I have a stressful job and told myself I needed it to 'relax'.

At the moment I'm just plodding along one AF day at a time. I'm not ready to look long term or give myself a label. Do you feel that you are an alcoholic or that you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol? I haven't considered AA I've been reading the online blogs and using this thread for support. I'd be interested to know what the meeting was like if you didn't mind?

• Do you feel that you are an alcoholic or that you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol?

Obviously we all have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol otherwise we wouldn't be on this thread! Didn't read quite right when I read it back. What I mean is I haven't said to myself I am an alcoholic, dependant drinker etc. I think for me it feels counterproductive. I'm happier with saying I have an unhealthy relationship instead.

I don't even know why that seems important to me, but strangely it does!

I don't drink daily or particularly often but I definitely have a very unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Runs in the family, third generation alcoholic, should bloody know better!
I stopped drinking when DS is in bed before Christmas after my son woke up and seen me drunk and being sick. Thankfully I didn't find that too tricky, which I thought I would but the knock on effect is when I do drink now I literally cannot be stopped.
To be honest I am not sure AA will be for me, but it is the soonest meeting I could arrange childcare for. It's not until tonight but I'll definitely report back.
I've dipped a toe into soberistas before, and I have been about half way through Alan Carr for 6 months now.

I know what you mean. I think I am the opposite, I need to call myself an alcoholic, and crucially have people believe me.
I have spent the last year or so telling friends I need to stop drinking and all of them have told me I'm fine, not to worry etc.

Hi- just dipping in quickly, sorry.Good to have you with us teenage. :)

I have tried AA. There were three meetings near me and I gave them all a go. I decided I would go to 5 consecutive meetings, then review then go to 5 and then review etc.

I met some really lovely people. I really enjoyed hearing about the experiences of others- oh my we could laugh about some pretty horrid events! It was wonderful to be in a room where people 'got it'.

I stopped going because I found some parts of it to be a little bit too dogmatic, and because I thought that I could probably moderate. That worked well..... not.

I am thinking of going back again- but next week when I have some decent time under my belt again. I have texted a couple of people who have not heard from me or a year, and they both were just so pleased to hear from me. It felt good. :)

I am not convinced about AA. But I say it is worth going with an open mind. Not all groups will 'fit' you and your personality.

Oh yeah- loads of alcoholics in my family also. I am not sure why I thought I would be immune!

Day 5 and I am having a wobble about tomorrow being Friday! It's not even here yet. Aaargh Friday is the socially acceptable day to drink and I am already wrestling with it. Any who... I haven't drank today, i am busy working tonight until 9 so it will be ok.

Anyway, just needed to vent that!

I know what you mean mnaddict weekends are the perfect excuse to over indulge. I always felt like I had wasted sooo much time if I was laid up with a hangover on a Saturday.

On Appeltiser in a wine glass as all of my short tumblers are broken. DP walked in looked at it and said "wine?" (With a look of resignation).
Was happy to say no even though I have been food shopping today I did not buy wine.

Day 3 AF - onwards soldiers onwards

Also bought fruit tea, camomile tea and lemon and ginger tea. Need to cut down my caffeine in the evening. Hoping to have a bath and an early night with a book.

Hi all. Just checking in. Day 15 here and not missing drinking at the moment. Don't get me wrong I'm still aware that the urge can catch me off guard at any moment but I'm finding it useful to keep reading a list on my phone of all the reasons why my drinking habits needed to stop. Some of the things I've noted are memories of times that should have been great but were frankly spoiled by booze for one reason or another. I've tried to capture the graphic detail of it to make sure I don't forget where one drink can take me too (I also didn't do well on the moderation, despite really wanting this to be my end goal). I continue to take things one day at a time.

It's good to see some other people that are just starting out on this journey too. I'm not really doing many drink replacements now although I did find in dry January that I needed too. I'm another fan of Belvoir Ginger beer, it's got a little kick to it that makes it different from anything else. I have to have it in a wine glass over ice though or it just isn't the same.

For those looking for inspiration I have benefitted from reading numerous posts on Thesoberschool.com. Not sure if this is one of the suggestions earlier in this thread. Some of the posts really strike a chord with me. Keep going everyone, I think it eventually does get much easier.

Rarity afraid I didn't make AA tonight which I am really gutted about but no way around it.
Glad to see everyone staying strong, gives me hope.
The first few weeks are usually fine for me, it's work stuff is usually where I fall down. Working in a bar is probably not that helpful for me at the minute.

HRH have you tried Smart recovery? I am wary of AA for similar reasons that you said you didn't find it helpful, and from the info online it looks like it would suit me more.

Hello to all the newbies and everyone else here. Doing well here. Day 344. When I think back to this time last year it's like I am a different person. Definitely would not have got this far without this board.

For those who find AA is not for them there is also SMART Recovery. I went to a few of their meetings and they were good. I also referred myself to my local drugs and alcohol service who were really helpful. I did a course with them one evening a week about the science of addiction. Met some lovely people there too.

I am still getting my support group Club Soberup and running in Birmingham.PM me if interested.

Good lord jenny working in a bar must be a constant temptation! Or possibly could work the other way if enough punters are nuisance drunks? Shame about your meeting but I'm sure you will be able to get to one another day.

I've just had another first, talking to my mum on the phone without slurring my words. After about ten pm it's usually obvious I've had a few as even if I feel sober my words slip a bit.

When I think about it I didn't drink anything in the evenings for the last few years except wine or tea. So it's a new experience for me!

vxa2 344 days is brilliant! I'm 66 days smoke free and 3 days AF. I really hope, that like you this time next year I feel like a different better version of me.

I shall definitely look into SMART recovery thanks!

Club Sober not Club Soberup !!

Just checking in. Had a terrible sleep last night, filled with shame. Trying to motivate myself to get up and face the day. My boy has been watching cartoons in bed with me all morning and it just seems alot easier to stay here than to try face the world.

Hi jenny as vidorra said upthread try and put it behind you. File it away and when you are feeling tempted to drink remember how you feel right now.

Today is a new day with no mistakes in it. Cuddle your boy and promise you will do something positive today.

jenny is there any reason you have to get up today? Can you stay in and snuggle and rest?

I know youfeel terrible shame, BUT.....

....you are doing something about it
.....you are proactively seeking solutions
... it will not always be this way.

Treat yourself ever so gently for a few days. Shame and remorse will drive you back to drinking so you can avoid those feelings for a while. Look after yourself like you would look after a fragile child. You are sore and hurting. Like Rarity said - file those feelings away for when they are useful and you feel like drinking. Right now you need to heal.

Good morning all.

Jenny, I have been there with seriously stupid things I've done, tbh I still kick myself sometimes and in the wee small hours I can think far too much about it. You've made a mistake - not one of us have gone through life without doing something daft or shameful, if they have they're a bloody saint Everyone has regrets but it's how you deal with them that matters.

If it was someone you loved you would show them kindness and support, maybe apply some of that to yourself. It reminds me of a bar I walk past most days on my way to work and it has written on the side 'A nation that keeps one eye on the past is wise. A nation that keeps both eyes on the past is blind'. I've often thought that can apply to people too.

The next few days please, please be kind to yourself, you deserve some nuturing and self care.

On the subject of work I must get going but will check in later. Have a great day everyone.

DS is here so I had to get my big girl pants on and get up and get on.
Laundry on, dishwasher loaded, eleventy million toys tidied up.
Feeling much better, although DS is absolutely refusing to leave the house which is frustrating but I'm very much picking my battles.

I've decided to stop drinking. I'm confused over whether I should label myself or seek professional help.
I am anxious by nature and over think everything, absolutely hate stress and convince myself that wine helps me.
I wasn't drinking so much I couldn't afford to, or to any extent that I couldn't function but last weekend I drank with friends and it was reckless drinking. I felt disgusting all day the next day and ashamed.

I felt like I had come a long way, I used to drink heavily and behave very badly and I never do that now. I also manage to stop myself and say 'that's enough' and go home but what worried me was that the evenings of moderate wine drinking was slowly increasing to nearly every evening, I felt anxious if I didn't have wine in, and also realised when I drink I literally sit alone on the sofa and it's not even fun. So why am I doing it? Where will this lead me? It's causing me weight gain and I look awful and not functioning well.
I downloaded a drink aware app and was very eager to do this then fell ill with a cold. This makes it easier not to drink as I feel pretty disgusting. But I don't know if setting myself a goal of never drinking again is just too big and how I will feel if I fail. Should I just go week by week or month by month?