DRY 17

[Loubilou09]

[This message is actually from Sober Sarah! She wanted this thread to start with links everyone will find useful. MNHQ]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting ebach other every step of the way. smile
We have put together some helpful info and links, to help you do this Smile tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

Tired of thinking about drinking, Belle's website filled with free stuff as well as subscription courses and an account of her four years sober.

joinclubsoda.co.uk/ Club Soda - to help you make the change you want.
www.sobersassylife.com Sober Sassy Life - A Selection of Articles, Blogs and Freebies to get you unstuck, and on the way to your Sober Sassy Life! Also has paid for courses.
thesoberschool.com/ - an online hub with the mission of inspiring and supporting women who are tired of feeling hungover

www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour - podcasts on a huge range of issues relating to addiction and recovery

www.smartrecovery.org.uk/ - an alternative to AA. Meetings nationwide and online.

Useful meditation or relaxation apps
www.headspace.com Headspace for calming the brain chatter
www.withandrewjohnson.com Andrew Johnson stop drinking app
Helpful blogs from people who are sober
sothisissober.com/ our own vxa's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lily's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lucy's blog
www.sobergrowing/blogspot.co.uk our own Sober Sarah's blog

All of these blogs contain links to loads of other brilliant blogs.

Sobriety counters
meetnomo.com/index.html
www.pilanites.com/streaks/

Hope this helps you ! Love Sober Sarah and Vxa

Thanks cocoa going to haul myself off the sofa, put the blinds up and potter about. Always feel better for doing something.

Plan a sober treat also for tomorrow when you get through Day 1. :)

Talking of sober treats, BG will you post a pic of your ring? (Please do not feel you have to though if too outing!). I am just a sucker for bling. :)

Not a problem to share, but they're not here yet, and I'm not sure when they will arrive.... could be start of next week, or goodness knows when... Hadn't figured they would take so long to arrive, but I suppose will be a nice surprise when they do, finally, arrive...

Not hugely bling, but for me just wearing the rings will feel very bling - it's all relative

Onwards!

Hi again all.

Massive congrats user, six months is great.

Boo to the rings not arriving yet BG but bloody well done on your 100 days!! Have you any other treats planned?

Welcome back mnaddict, hope the ankle's ok?

Welcome to you too Rarity, I think we talked briefly on the penguin thread? I was the one with the mlp mad dd Ten weeks on and my family still don't know I've stopped, they haven't mentioned it despite enjoying their booze themselves and have maybe noticed. Suppose the only person it's a big deal to is me, which probably shows a lot about my relationship to alcohol. Only one that knows the truth and honest to god reason is dp.

Hi vidorra yes we did! I only lasted a week but I've kept off the cigarettes since Jan. Ten weeks is an achievement well done!

I'm keeping it under the radar too I don't want to make a 'thing' out of it. I'm hoping like you no one notices.
Me and DP need to talk before he goes to work tonight and after DD is settled. He's upset and angry. I bought a low alcohol bottle (7 units) didn't intend to but drank the lot. I was rationalising that it was the same as 4 cans etc etc.

After a long hard think this morning I can admit that it was an excuse, to myself. I cycle through moderating, abstaining and heavy drinking. And repeat. I've been on babes off and on but this time I need to go dry. The babes are great but they are still drinking and I need to be around people who are choosing not too.

My DD is still likes MLP but not as much these days. She has become a scooby doo fanatic

Ok then, witching hour is here. I have elderflower sparkly drink and am cooking a stodgy tea. Planning a bath and a catch up on broadchurch box set tonight. Feeling quite calm about it really.

Sorry I'm using the thread as a bit of a sounding off space today. Hope that's ok? DP is 'disappointed' in me. I feel like a child being reprimanded, and as selfish as it is I don't want to talk in depth tonight. I know he probably wants to offload how he is feeling. But I just want to focus on me and getting through this evening. That is self centred isn't it?
I hate feeling like I've let him down but I can't go backwards now. That was yesterday and I have to look forwards to a different future.

Sorry for the self indulgent rant. I've no one else to express my inner thoughts to. If you've read it all feel free to tell me to get over myself!

Hope you are all having a nice evening

You can do it Rarity. I'm on day 14 (again). Also have been on the cycle you referred to and ended up literally going round in circles so quietly attempting going dry instead. Only looking at one day at a time but being honest at the moment it just feels great not to be thinking about how to moderate as I was a bit of a failure at that.

Me too minibinx I seem to lack an off switch. I am feeling ok about tonight. I am a bit upset with DP but there is no booze in the house and I'm resolved to stop making excuses for day one to be tomorrow.

You can do it Rarity.

Get through the witching hour and if you are like me you find that it really IS just an hour and then the cravings are over. I find that if I get through the cooking dinner and eating dinner stage then it is like any cravings are over for the evening.

I have been going around in circles also. 3 years of abstince, trying to moderate, heavy drinking and I am in exactly the same place emotionally. The only thing that has changed is that I am 3 stone heavier and much more tired, I have aches in my side and I am just all round sadder inside.

I simply have to do it this time.. I am losing myself.

Onwards all.

Tea cooked and eaten, elderflower cordial in glass. Just had a text from DP telling me he loves me and is proud of me. Made me feel quite emotional! So glad to find others who are in the same boat.

Onwards indeed cocoa

Viddora the ankle is sore but a good painful reminder that I am on the right path now.

I've been super productive for the last three days (day 3 for me today) and feel much lighter inside. My eating has been much healthier as I am not hangover binging. I've managed work, house tasks and child related tasks with ease. Although it's only 3 days I feel so much better.

DH is making me a cuppa, I have tv on, a snack to look forward to and my ankle elevated as it's sore after my activity today!

Ooch mnaddict, maybe try some ice and compression support too? Fab going on three days, wish I felt as productive

That's lovely Rarity, what a supportive, nice thing to say. When I first told dp I wrote it all out in an email and sent it. Made it easier for me to communicate all I needed to without interruptions or feeling put on the spot. I too have tried the endless cycle of heavy drinking, sober periods, attempting to moderate and binge drinking.

One of my close friends was messaging me the other day trying to arrange a night out with myself and another friend for a 'blow out'. We don't see that much of each other as we are all single (but attached with partners we don't live with) parents. When we do get the odd chance to get together on a night out we party hard. It's thrown me a bit and I've found my confidence in myself being able to do this eroding. It was one of those nights that ended my last near year sober period. I'm trying not to think that far ahead but I have found myself bargaining in my head. Ugh, hate this.

Hope your ankle feels better soon mnaddict don't overdo it!

vidorra do you feel able to tell your friend that you aren't drinking at the moment? I'm not surprised it is making you feel uneasy. You've done ten weeks already this year which is brilliant! Are you able to either delay a night out until you feel stronger in yourself or fabricate a course of antibiotics or something to avoid drinking on the night?

I could tell one of them no problem Rarity, he knows the reason I quit before as I confided in him a couple of years ago but now thinks I have a handle on it. If I'm entirely honest one part of me is probably sneakily evading that to give me an open. I'll see if I can get a chance to grab a coffee with him soon, stop tormenting myself.

Time for some netflix and ginger tea in bed. Have a peaceful night everyone.

Thanks rarity i will try not to!

Vidorra avoiding the inevitable nights out has been my biggest barrier to quitting before now but my plan is to tell people I had to take medication (being vague what for- most won't pry I think) then after a while just say that I feel so much healthier and lost weight etc without alcohol as that will be true (happened last time) that I just decided not to bother anymore. I had gone round in circles over this issue in therapy and that's what sits comfortably for me. You could say you did dry January and carried on? You can still go out if you feel strong enough and have fun without booze..

Morning all.Or try and arrange something else instead Vidorra rather than a 'blowout'. Say 'I have busy weeks ahead, need something quieter this time, how about dinner and a movie?'

I know that if I have 'something' ahead of me that I give myself permission to drink for, it just ends up I drink leading up to it as well.

I was meant to go to something next weekend. DH is away though and I was immensely relieved to have the 'DH away and no babysitter' excuse in order to avoid it. The babysitter excuse is pretty much true, but I could have tried harder. I am happy to make excuses though. Right now it is too risky.

I have chocolate?

That's impressive :)

That is an impressive collection BG! I am not a chocolate person I still have Easter eggs on top of my fridge .

Well I survived the night . Found it hard to sleep but I am looking forward to better sleep the longer I am AF.

DP has come home and made me a brew, gave me cuddle and announced a plan for a weekend away at Easter . Lovely man but not sure a weekend away so soon is a good idea.

Hope you are all well and enjoying a bright sunny morning wherever you are!

I'm simply impressed you can allow chocolate to build up like that, I'd have the lot scarfed Very sweet tooth and love chilli chocolate. That's just reminded me I bought myself some Hotel Chocolat chilli hot chocolate at Christmas. There's my drink tonight sorted.

Might be a good idea Cocoa, it'll probably take us ages to get a date to suit everyone anyway. I'll push it to the back of my head until the time arrives, I just find it unsettling that my brain slips into sneaky, bargaining behaviours so easily.

Took me ages to settle down to proper sleep Rarity although I am not the world's best sleeper anyway and the slightest thing sets me off to a bad routine again. Bright and sunny here but still blowing a gale and blooming freezing. Hurry up spring!!

Afternoon everyone. :)

That's an impressive stash BG!

I was looking for another alcohol documentary on youtube on my lunchbreak today and came across this one. It is about the struggles of a US new anchorwoman Elizabeth Vargas. I thought it was really good, because there is so much she says that I can relate to. In particular she asks the question of herself, why when she would die for her children she could not stop drinking for them- which is a question I ask myself over and over. Worth a watch if you have the time or inclination.

Well last night was ok, think because I was psyched up and motivated. Today has been more of an internal battle of wills. The little voice says "look you didn't drink last night and it was fine. You don't have a problem so you can have a drink tonight to reward yourself". I'm not listening, I'm thinking about to do lists and my ironing pile.
But it's nearly wine o clock and I've got a restless feeling like something is missing. It'll pass.

Hope you're all having a good day. I'm off to make a brew

Evening all. Had a very difficult and trying day. Had a brief thought about getting some wine on way home then pulled myself together, came home and am now drinking tea in front of the fire. Glad I didn't cave in!

Hi sober I'm new on the thread. My second day AF. I'm drinking sparkly fruit juice and have ginger beer in the fridge. I have drank sooo much tea today I can't face another one! Well done for driving past the shop. How long have you been on here for?