DRY 17

[Loubilou09]

[This message is actually from Sober Sarah! She wanted this thread to start with links everyone will find useful. MNHQ]

If you're quitting alcohol for a brighter sober future come and join us here. A very welcoming bunch supporting ebach other every step of the way. smile
We have put together some helpful info and links, to help you do this Smile tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com

Tired of thinking about drinking, Belle's website filled with free stuff as well as subscription courses and an account of her four years sober.

joinclubsoda.co.uk/ Club Soda - to help you make the change you want.
www.sobersassylife.com Sober Sassy Life - A Selection of Articles, Blogs and Freebies to get you unstuck, and on the way to your Sober Sassy Life! Also has paid for courses.
thesoberschool.com/ - an online hub with the mission of inspiring and supporting women who are tired of feeling hungover

www.blogtalkradio.com/bubblehour - podcasts on a huge range of issues relating to addiction and recovery

www.smartrecovery.org.uk/ - an alternative to AA. Meetings nationwide and online.

Useful meditation or relaxation apps
www.headspace.com Headspace for calming the brain chatter
www.withandrewjohnson.com Andrew Johnson stop drinking app
Helpful blogs from people who are sober
sothisissober.com/ our own vxa's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lily's blog
www.alcoholfree2016.com our own Lucy's blog
www.sobergrowing/blogspot.co.uk our own Sober Sarah's blog

All of these blogs contain links to loads of other brilliant blogs.

Sobriety counters
meetnomo.com/index.html
www.pilanites.com/streaks/

Hope this helps you ! Love Sober Sarah and Vxa

I've just joined this. I want to.

Earlier on this thread I read "I love the lack of shame fear and guilt not drinking brings :)"

This is what I want

still staying , I don't think it matters what we call it, be it alcoholism, problem drinking or failure to moderate.... for me I say 'I've chucked the booze for now cos it was getting silly' - it doesn't have the enormity of forever (although that's where I hope I'm heading) and I hope, it doesn't make a big deal of it.... despite it being a big deal!!! I think most of the underplaying of things is for the benefit of those around me... to somehow protect them from the scale of my drinking, or perhaps in some cases to lessen the knee jerk reaction which very definitely comes from their own relationship with drink - and for now I have to let them get on with it whilst I fight my own wee battle!!

Today is three calendar months for me and I'm actually quite chuffed!! Looking forward to hitting 100 days next week - the celebration rings are ordered for those who remember my promised treat to myself....

Sleeping better, lost weight - good, skin is terrible but I think that's due to the amount of carbs I'm scoffing, hopefully will settle and I can start to reduce them again, but one project at a time.....

Keep the faith - we're all more fabulous than we know!

nine hello.... waves, here's s hand on board!

Welcome nine and anyone else who wants to commit to a sober lifestyle. As difficult as it sometimes is, life is far better now without alcohol in my life than when it was my constant companion.

My only enemy now is complacency.

I had all of what has been mentioned on this thread, fear, shame guilt, anxiety and those dreaded 3am wake ups. The only thing waking me up now is the cat and she has the decency to wait until 6am.

Day 581 today, one day at a time, and if I can do it, anyone can with love, kindness and support.

Hi ya nine

One week today then mini, massive well done!

I liked that link Cocoa, even if that is the first I've heard of the kerfuffle at the Oscars Especially the if it feels against your better judgement note. Every time I've started drinking again after a sober period the glass in my hand feels wrong and that voice tells me I shouldn't be doing it.

I don't define myself as anything either other than 'problem drinker'. I've gone from heavy drinking to sober periods to binge drinking and the problem every time no matter how I drink is the inability to usually stop at one or two or moderate. I studied not so long ago and have physiology and drugs books in the house. Looking at them, it seems very much a grey area as to what defines the word 'alcoholic' until physical dependence and withdrawal well and truly kicks in as there are so many different drinking patterns.

Brilliant going BG - and so you should feel proud of yourself!! I remember the rings, they were lovely. How many did you order?

Mood much better today. Got 9+ hours of sleep last night which is virtually unheard of for me. I'm usually a 5/6 hours kinda person. Must have needed it!

I am new to this site, but have been reading for a while. I started drinking years ago to probably cut out my marriage problems. Eventually I was hospitalised with diabetes and acetis. My life was in danger. I went for 4 years completely dry and last year I had an awful stressful time. Bought a small bottle of Vodka, and here we go again. Fully dependent on it again within 6 months. I self referred myself to an alcohol clinic ran by NHS, and now am going into detox/rehab early in March. I pray it works. I am trying to line up support for when I come out. It will be a fortnight in total that I shall be away. Scary stuff, but I know alcohol will kill me in the end, like every one on here. I do hope that you all get the support and help that I have. xxx

Welcome Littlemist. I am an infrequent poster but a daily reader. I'm currently on day 50-something AF. I haven't checked "sober tool" recently as I don't want to become obsessed with days.
This is my third or fourth attempt at sobriety and the scary reality is that each relapse is more horrific than the last. I can't even recall my last binge (NYD) in front of my parents, extended family and young children without feeling hot and cold with the shame and inappropriateness of the situation, not to mention the worry and grief I caused my poor mother in particular. She is the child of an alcoholic parent.
Good luck with your rehab. It will be worth it and I wish you all the best. I'm terrified of picking up a drink. I still think about drinking every day. Just putting my best foot forward and remembering I am doing this for my children who deserve a sober and present mother in their lives. The eldest one has already witnessed far too much.

I thought I had replied vidorra but seems I haven't...

Ordered two rings in the end - the thinnest ones looked too fragile somehow, I went with a silver and a rose gold in the next thickness up... Hoping they arrive on time, but at least I know they are ordered and will arrive at some point next week.

Work seems to smell particularly boozy tonight - some days are worse than other, but i got a real whiff earlier on and I didn't really like it... Oddly being surrounded by 1000s of litres of spirits has never tempted me... Others have been less fortunate.

Feel like I am rolling along in limbo now that the initial 'whoosh' of finally making the decision to quit has faded - I guess it's the 'what now' phase... Now is more elderflower presse, more san pelligrino mineral water and more chocolate milk!!

For those newly joined, or those bravely lurking - hang on in there - there's a lot of support and practical help on here and a safe place just to ramble, to vent, to talk without fear.

There's not a single post that doesn't help in one way or another...

Onwards, ever onwards!

Hello all.

I was in thread 15 I think.

I have been in therapy to tackle my drinking since October and to be frank it is useless. Every week we talk about how much I have drank and she pats me in the back and tells me I'm Doing well. My husband is getting peed off spending money on something that's not working and I haven't the balls for confrontation. We were working towards normal
Drinking but i don't think I. Have that in me.

Any way any advice would be welcomed. I have a night out Saturday but after that I want to go dry forever as I can't keep battling the wine witch.

I've done 3 months before and never felt so good.

My husband is away mon- sat next week so all tips needed!
How can I stop this???

mn I'm hoping someone more eloquent than me will be along soon...

It's a 'dry' cliche, but it's just that first drink you have to worry about - no first drink means no second, third, forth or tenth...

Normal drinking = different things for different people, be it moderation, abstinence, binge, excessive - all 'normal' for different people.

Can you avoid/cancel the night out, leave the WW stood up at the bar so to speak?

Take care, look after yourself, whatever that may be - so long as it's not booze anything goes!! Me, I'm all about the chocolate milk!

When thinking about taking a drink, remember it's the first drink that gets you drunk.

I don't have to worry about all the wine in France, the beer in Germany and all the vodka in Russia, or all the gin left in the cupboard from Christmas, all I have to do is not take that first drink, and not take that first drink today.

It's the first drink that gets me drunk, that drink at the top of the bottle, it's what comes out of the bottle first I have to worry about, not what's in the bottom of the bottle.

If you don't believe me try it tomorrow, don't take the first drink, and I guarantee you that you will not get drunk.

To your night out mnaaddict my advice would be if you don't think you can handle it without alcohol, don't go. If you have to go, don't drink, have a plan of what to do to avoid alcohol, and have an excuse (antibiotics for a tooth abscess worked for me)

Welcome littlemist, we will 100% be here for support when you need it. I think you are being really courageous, wishing you all the best for rehab and hope it goes well for you

mn would you consider any other type of RL help, maybe something like AA or SMART recovery? Perhaps something online for accountability like Sarah posted at the start with Belle (some good resources up there)? I agree it all starts with staying off the first drink and not worrying about days/weeks ahead, just today. I often think to myself when I'm tempted 'I can fuck it all up tomorrow, not today'. Funny enough when I wake up the next day I never regret that decision. Filling time is key for me too as is being kind to myself. I don't keep booze in the house and if I don't feel strong enough about going out, I don't bother. It's not worth it in my eyes, staying sober is my number one priority atm.

They sound lovely BG with the two tones, fingers crossed they arrive for you in time so you have it. I relate, I feel like the novelty has kind of worn off and now it's just life, however boring and stressful that may be.

Off to bed for me, dd has been up being sick since the moment my head touched the pillow earlier. Hoping that's her stopped now.

Yes welcome from me to the lovely new people :)
Vxa and I put some stuff up the top in the pinned post, lots of good links there to help, with different approaches. Hope you can find something of use from them :)
( I've nc since the top post :) )

I had to buy wine today - it's my direct reports birthday tomorrow... Felt really odd trying to pick a bottle of wine. Really just wanted to bolt out of the wine aisle... Was a strange sensation, I felt overwhelmed, sad somehow. I can't really describe it other than it was a feeling i didn't like - I wasn't tempted to pick up an extra bottle, just I really didn't want to be there, trying to buy wine, it felt alien which is maybe a good thing?

On the plus side i also had to buy Thorntons cupcakes - chocolate and toffee ones... We have a rota for cake Thursday on back shift and this week it's cupcakes I may need to try both the chocolate and the toffee variants

Onwards

The cupcakes were excellent...

Hurrah for cupcakes :) I'm eating Lazy Days free from tiffin as a sober treat and OMG its fabulous :)

L'oreal!

Cupcakes!!

Yum. :)

I love the cake! Can afford to eat it more now with all those wine calories saved .

Morning....

Looking for some inspiration this morning - just paid off my mortgage which feels like cause for celebration!

Traditionally this would involve cracking open something with bubbles and proceeding from there, but looking for an alternative, possibly one that isn't based on chocolate milk!!

Open to suggestions.....

(Quietly woohoos in the corner)

BGJ i have recently moved house (our third and final move), and the distance to when we finally pay off is so far off into the distance it's dizzying. Congratulations

I think i would throw into the oven a nibble platter, pizzas, wedges with dips with Pepsi Max to drink.

I don't think I'm most people though.

BGJ WOOHOOO!!!!

Congratulations!!!!!!!

How EXCITING!!!!

My parents when they paid off their mortgage the next month spent the equivalent amount on a weekend away.

Otherwise, Sainsburys do what I consider to be a really nice AF sparkling wine.

it IS exciting....... although desperately trying to avoid smug cow mode!

Spending the weekend with my best friend although her currently homeowner status may put a slight damper on things.... but I feel it should be acknowledged in some, sympathetic, fashion....

Thinking Thai or Greek food out somewhere as a change from the usual pizza (food of the gods as far as I am concerned)...

Failing that, I'm sure I can celebrate with a gallon of chocolate milk.....

Congratulations BJG. Most definately a day for celebration. I'd go for Thai as I love the stuff. Think the idea of going away next month with the amount you would have usually paid is also a fab idea. Sadly for me it will be many moons until I reach such a status and my kids are pushing that ever further away too.

Congratulations BGJ! Maybe look for something lovely for the home over the next couple of months, like some art, and spend what would've been a mortgage payment on that? I think it is a very good thing that you aren't drinking for this celebratory day/month - we did it a couple of years ago and I think we had bubbles but in reality is was just yet another evening spent drinking and I can't really remember.

I'm getting used to not drinking now - it is starting to feel more like normal anyway. Headaches have gone. However, despite an initial feeling of lightness I now feel like I am gaining weight as I am managing to replace the alcohol calories with junk/excess food calories in addition to things like fruit juice/'posh' sparkling sugary drinks creeping in. I am overweight anyway so it could well be time to start tackling that now too.