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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First date. Is a goodnight kiss expected?

13 replies

GoofyGoobers · 29/01/2017 18:05

These days?

First date in many years (over a decade!)

Met OLD.

I know you never have to do anything you don't want but is a goodnight kiss generally something that will be attempted? Grin

OP posts:
SheFeedsYouTeaAndOranges · 29/01/2017 18:07

If he likes you, he might go to kiss you goodnight. If he doesn't, he won't.

If you like him, and you want to kiss him, you might choose to do so, if you like him and you don't want to kiss him, you don't have to. If you don't like him and don't want to kiss him, then you don't.

It can't have changed that much, surely!

GoofyGoobers · 29/01/2017 18:23

I never really dated with my ex. We were young and just sort of started hanging around in school so I don't have any dating experience at all.

Once me and exDH started going places we were already a 'couple' in teenager terms.

OP posts:
SheFeedsYouTeaAndOranges · 29/01/2017 18:36

Well, I'd never really dated. My previous boyfriends and then my exhusband were all people I already knew in some capacity. I've never 'dated'.

When I did start doing it a few years ago, I found it was exactly as I'd described as above. It's impossible to say whether it will "generally be attempted" though, because they will, presumably, only go in for a kiss if they like you and you will only respond if you want to.

Don't overthink it, it's easy.

GoofyGoobers · 29/01/2017 18:38

I have a degree in overthinking things! 😆

But yeah. I guess I was just gauging people's experiences.

OP posts:
friendshipstruggle · 29/01/2017 18:39

I've found first dates that are coffee at lunch type dates then kissing doesn't seem to be on the cards but evening/go for a pint ones they always seem to try it. In my experience. Even when the date clearly wasn't going well.

ALaughAMinute · 29/01/2017 18:54

I don't care if it's expected; I wont kiss anybody other than a peck on the cheek unless we've both brushed our teeth. Grin

Do what makes you feel comfortable.

MirandaWest · 29/01/2017 18:57

DH and I met through online dating. Had first date that lasted about 9 hours. We didn't kiss at the end of it (I'd have quite liked to but he was worried I'd have rhought he was either an axe murderer or just wanted me for sex).

We finally kissed on our second date (had spent some of it on separate sofas Grin).

And the rest is history Smile

Trills · 29/01/2017 19:03

If he does try to kiss you, he likes you.

If he doesn't. it doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't like you.

If you want to, you could initiate.

GoofyGoobers · 29/01/2017 19:44

It is an evening date. But not a full evening. Just an hour after work.

OP posts:
StripeyCover · 29/01/2017 19:59

Absolutely no way should you feel you have to kiss-on-the-mouth someone you have only met for a couple of hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just ew.... Any man who expects this IME is a complete jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

StripeyCover · 29/01/2017 20:07

only do what you feel comfortable doing, nothing else. if he's the right one, it will all come to fruition. if not, no matter what you do (or don't) it won't.

SleepingTiger · 29/01/2017 20:07

Kissing, passion and spontaneity has been around since the dawn of time.

Kissing is not something that is managed or organised by OLD, Tumblr or Hollywood. Kissing is much deeper than that.

Go with what you feel. If you don't kiss, so what. There will be other times and with other people. What matters most is you honour kissing. It is a gift.

Bct23 · 29/01/2017 20:14

A lot of blokes will try on evening dates but not all. I have found men to be not as great as reading chemistry or not being bothered and trying anyway Grin

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