Apologies in advance as I may go straight to bed quite shortly either just to watch TV or just to go to sleep early. I'm up each day at 5.15am and at work by 7am and I'm knackered, any I've had a bottle of Blossom Hill so bear with me 
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I'd long wondered what the HELL is it with my ex husband, what was WRONG with him (you know?). For many many years I've strugglee with -- oooh, just listening to Videothecque from Dollar, them were the days - focus Pollyanna, focus! So I always thought what's going on there, how can you be like you are. I'd looked and seen as I'm sure many of you have, narcissistic personality disorder and all that stuff but it never really fitted? So I had a determined search around and I was blown away by what I found out about Disordered Characters. You know those (sorry, swearing warning and this is driven solely by how shit my exH makes my DD feel) guys who are utterly crap dads who can't be arsed to see their kid in X city but they'll see their other kid in X city even though it's only a 20 bus ride away, you know what I mean?
And I've always thought there's something missing, what is it, it is a conscience (are they a sociopath) or are they just utterly selfish, what the hell is wrong with them?
Then I found this.
Essentially it's a complete lack of shame (which, frankly, when you read it explains it TOTALLY).
I'd love to discuss this with you who can identify with any of this bullshit and find any kind of consolation in finally understanding who these freaks are, because I'm 50 and I've been divorced for 10 YEARS and I've still tried to reason with this bell end of an exH - but this really helped and I'd love to know if anyone else had the absolutely massive lightbulb moment of recognition that I had... love you all .
isordered characters don’t feel shame like neurotics do. One mark of a character disorder is a person’s relative incapacity not only to be deficient in feelings of guilt when committing harmful acts, but to lack any sense of shame for the kind of person they must be to commit such acts. It’s hard to be genuinely repentant and also hard to make good on a pledge to not commit the same kind of hurtful act again when you don’t really feel like a shmuck for doing the bad thing you did in the first place. Disordered characters have consciences that are under-developed and impaired. Most disturbed characters don’t hear that little voice in their heads that urge most of us to do right or admonish most of us when we’re contemplating doing wrong. They don’t “push” themselves to take on responsibilities and don’t “arrest” themselves when they want something they shouldn’t have. Any qualms of conscience they might experience can be eliminated with great ease. Character disordered individuals are notoriously nonchalant about the things that most others get upset about. They don't experience enough anxiety when it would be normal or even beneficial to do so. The disturbed character doesn’t get apprehensive enough about his conduct. He is too indifferent and unshaken when problems arise as the result of the way he does things, and he remains too unnerved and unperturbed in the face of conflict. The disordered character doesn’t do the dysfunctional things he does because some past trauma has him too hung-up to do otherwise. He does what he does because he lacks the capacity to get hung-up enough to think twice about his behavior and inhibit himself and restrain his conduct.
That ring true for anyone?
If you want to read more the website is www.drgeorgesimon.com - it's worth a proper rummage to find all the different of these types. It's been a revelation to me.
Doesn't stop me wanting to murder the total c*nt for how he makes my DD feel. Obviously.