Or is it just me?
I feel so bad feeling like this and I desperately do not want to feel like this anymore. I love my children dearly of course and I have always wanted them, but oh I am still grieving for my old life - after three years of being a parent!!
On bad days I feel like I wish I could just have a lobotomy so I don't have to feel. I miss my freedom and being in London and not getting all angsty about where best to live for schools.
When I first became a mum I felt the responsibility was overwhelming but that has passed now thank goodness and I don't fret so much but that feeling of wondering if I'll ever have a life like I knew still remains.
I feel so shallow but I pine for being able to get a bit dressed up and go wandering down some lovely bit of London, or going for a coffee in a buzzy cafe with my husband.
I think it's made worse for me that we moved out of London and I have never felt settled where we are and have not found kindred spirits here. My husband does long long hours and we have no family near. We are thinking of moving but I am also finding that fairly overwhelming too as I just wonder if I'll feel like I do anywhere!!
Feeling quite bad at the moment but I do often have many periods where I'm fine. I love being a mum but I just feel completely lost now. My career has died a death and I don't know what direction to take for the best. Anyone else struggle a bit with how selfless you have to be as a mother, or feeling lost or whatever? How have you dealt with it or made it better?! I am trying to do some mindfulness and positive affirmations and being grateful for three small things each day but I often feel engulfed by a bit o a terror that I will always feel a little bit less than I was.