This is a first for me, I have never posted on anything like this before.
I am doing so now because I am in danger of destroying my relationship if I don't get some perspective.
I am afraid the background is a little long winded.
I have been with my GF for 5 years now, we don't live together but I did move from Wales to be closer to her 6 months in.
We met when both of us were in failed relationships. Mine was a long distance, where she lived in Scandinavia, after a few years of this going nowhere I had had enough. My GF on the other side was married ( I didn't know this when we first met as she only ever mentioned her son not a husband), they hadn't slept with other for 2 years and he was constantly working 6 - 7 days a week.
We had a brief affair, which she didn't really try and hide, in the end she had to file for divorce because he wouldn't.
As you settle down you findout about your partners past, hers led me to be nervous, basically her husband had been the only "real relationship" she had had. But in the 23 years they were together she had had multiple affairs.
Now I have insecurity issues mainly related to my childhood, so I can be over suspicious unnecessarily.
So to the meat of the problem, I know the names of 4 of the men she has slept while married; 3 of these were friends in her FB list.
I had kind of accepted that fact reluctantly I might add, as none of them had contacted her at that time.
About 18 months ago one of them did send her a message, when she changed her status to separated. Wanting to prove to her that these men only wanted to stay in touch to restart an affair, I suggested she respond within in 3 messages he was caller her babe and such things. At that point I asked her to remove them, she refused saying that it meant nothing, I left it there though was uneasy. Last october another one of these men contacted her, she did show me the part of the message and said I could see if I wanted ( the opportunity didn't arise for me to do so), what she say subsequently told me was he had asked to meet up, she said she replied in the negative and deleted the message.
This led to another heated discussion about these so called friends and after calling me controlling etc, reluctantly removed two of them from her profile.
Now two weeks ago I notice her on FB while she was at work, so being noisey I had a look at her page and noticed a new friend. This was another man that she had not only slept with but had an emotional affair with aswell. I must I didn't behave very well at completely lost it. She said the request was sometime ago and forgot about and didn't tell me as she knew how upset it makes me. She had deleted the message so have no idea what he said.
I a have now become overly suspicious and anxious as this person works at the same place as her and questioning.
Look forward to your views and happy to add more detail, just to say that this has almost led to us breaking up, I have taken it upon myself to get counselling form what I see as my issues this doesn't start until March and I have constant anxiety over this.