Equal Hobby Money?

[MuldersMouldySkully]

My OH is about to start a hobby that costs £40 a month.
So should I be able to spend £40 a month on a hobby too?
Fwiw: I'm purposefully being vague about details but I'm the SAHP, they're the working parent. We can easily afford it.

So shoiukd we booth have equal hobby money, even though its not 'my' money iyswim?

Mulders - obvious solution is that you join the gym too! After all "it's not a hobby" Doesn't matter if you only go there to read the paper and drink coffee.

(I'll join you as a SAHP who hasn't had new clothes that weren't presents, doesn't do candles, and hasn't got any mates )

Me join a gym? Good god no.
The dent in my sofa may right itself.

Mulders - I think the problem is that you don't know what you want to do as your leisure /hobby, but she does.
Decide what you want to do and tell her. Why don't you go to the gym on the nights she's not going? Or get a babysitter and go together?

OP you quit work, joint decision, so she could pursue career. Are you guys married? Own a house together?

It seems a bit odd to say that you should have £40 to spend on a hobby because she spends £40 on the gym. Do you keep track of all the spending in that way? But you should have equal spending money, to do what you want with, and you should have equal leisure time.

Gym isn't a hobby. But you should both have equal access to cash for leisure activities.

whatsheonabout
I don't want a hobby. The spare time I get I like to relax, watch TV, listen to music, have a long bath etc.

jeaux90
No we don't own a house and we're not married.

BToperator
I wasn't serious when I said it, not even remotely serious. She knows if I want to spend money on something that I will. I don't have hobbies though so there's really not anything I buy with any regularity. We do keep track of spending but not to the point where I spend d what she spends. If that makes sense. She got a new bag a few weeks ago, £300ish, I didn't go and spend £300 to balance the books so to speak. Iyswim.

User
Interesting. Why isnt it a hobby?
It something done for enjoyment, for leisure, to socialise etc.
Isn't that what a hobby is?

Its not a hobby by my definition. Hobby is done for enjoyment, I go to the gym to reduce the rather high likelihood of me a)getting even fatter and b)dropping dead from a heart attack.
Hobbies are fun!

makes sense User
My GF does it for fun though, the dance classes and drinks with friends after etc.

Posters saying you should be able to have a hobby too but it doesn't mean you should get £40 (or vice versa) are making this too complicated IMO. You should both get equal time for whatever-she-says-this-is, and for leisure/hobbies, and you should also get equal money to spend on stuff. So you should also get this £40 a month, and you should have the opportunity to spend the same amount of time relaxing (and keeping fit or whatever) as she does.

For what it's worth, I think most people go to dance classes at the gym to keep fit in a way that doesn't bore them to tears, not purely for fun.

If its a joint decision for you to be at home, I think you should regard the money that she earns as shared money. It isn't just hers. And yes, you should both have equal access to leisure time.

Yes of course. I can't even begin to understand why this would ever be a question in an equal relationship.

So depressing that we even have to discuss this.