Bubbling Argument

[PeppaAteMySoul]

Me and DP had some cross words 2 days ago about division of household chores. He is much tidier than me and gets mad if I leave things like washing up to be done later. I accept I have been lazy in this area.
Anyway since his snapping at me we have pretty much ignored each other ever since, except for being civil in front of the children. (We have an 8 week old and a 3 year old).

I don't know what to do now. I have apologised but the atmosphere is still icy and it's not like us at all. Although we do argue sometimes it never carries on like this. Before now we prided ourselves on never going to bed angry/ upset with each other. What can I actually do? I know I need to be better about tidying things as I go etc because mess stresses him out and contributes to his depression but how do I fix things now if he won't talk?
I'm not going to beg for forgiveness. Especially as he has said some things that I feel crossed a line and were hurtful that he has not apologised for. Or is that just stubborn?

I think we are both struggling at the moment. Non sleeping 3 year old and newborn that wakes every 90 mins is getting to both of us. He has depression. I'm struggling post baby. I have a breast lump that needs investigating. We have no money and mounting bills. It's hard and I think stuff is becoming a bigger deal than it normally would be. I just wish we could be on the same team right now. Relationship wise we are usually pretty strong/ solid/ together and I don't know how to deal with all that other stuff on top of us not getting on.

Do you both want to be on the same team??

You're both fighting your own battles. We had 2 under 2 & it was hard. Being the SAHP was tough but, so was working 12 hour days on 3 hours sleep. Just cut each other some slack. Could you get a sitter for just a couple of hours? Sounds like you need some time as man & woman, not as mum & dad

It would help if we could have that time I think. I'm sure we will be able to when DS2 is older. He is breastfed at cluster feeds pretty much all evening every evening so I don't have time for myself at the moment never mind for DP.
It's silly really. I know we are/will be fine. I'm just so exhausted everything is just getting to me.