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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel like I'm only good for sex

33 replies

Pieceofmeat · 19/01/2017 20:53

Need some perspective here that I'm doing the right thing. Background is together 16 years, married 8, two DC. We separated just before new years. I'd say it came as a bit of a shock but things have been bad for a while.

Dh can be very grumpy, moody and has a bad temper. He is a very negative person and always moans about how tired he is, how hard he works. He gets cross about really stupid things. I felt like I've been walking on egg shells for a long time. So as a result I have detached a bit. I just get on with things, try and avoid confrontation and sort the kids out myself as best I can.

My main issue is that even if he's been cross/moody all day he might still initiate sex that night. And obviously I'm not keen because of how he's been acting. But I always oblige. We would have sex once a week, and maybe a bj during the week as well. Sorry for tmi. But I've no sex drive because I feel he treats me like shit.

So anyway that's a big problem. He says I'm not interested, I'm withdrawing because of how I feel and he's hurt because I'm not interested.

So skip to today, almost 3 weeks since we decide to split. I knew he was coming round to get stuff before he went to work, I stayed out after the school run so he would be gone before I got home. He text to see where I was and when I got home he was still there. He was just out of the shower and he asked me to give him a BJ. I'm am so upset and I think it's just reinforced that that's all I'm fucking good for. He doesn't give a shit about me as long as he's getting what he needs.

I didn't do it, I got straight in the car and drove off.

That's a shit thing to do isn't it?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/01/2017 18:46

stop him from doing that

BitchinBlack · 21/01/2017 18:55

FUCKING ASSHOLE. AngryReal men don't behave this way.You are well rid of him OP. Good luck and take care in the weeks and months ahead.Flowers

Pieceofmeat · 21/01/2017 19:03

Yeah I know it needs to stop. But he has to see the children. He came round with the excuse that he needed to use the computer so I stayed out until I thought he'd be away. Seems like he was loitering until I came back.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/01/2017 19:06

He needs to see the children outside of the house, separate from you

And send him to the library for pc use

He made his choice. He doesn't get to play at Happy Fucking Families any more

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam · 21/01/2017 19:26

Never go near that again.
Here's to the rest of your life, free and happy. Best wishes.

Naicehamshop · 21/01/2017 19:27

Stand up for yourself op - he is massively taking the piss here. Angry

Naicehamshop · 21/01/2017 19:29

DON'T let him just drop round whenever he feels like it.

Phoebefromfriends · 21/01/2017 20:07

It's so inappropriate in the current situation I would be changing the locks as this man clearly thinks he's entitled to use you as a sex toy. I would be concerned that next time he might go further and become physical, because he's so entitled and has no respect for you. What a complete twat.

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