partner wants to go on a lads holiday i cant bare the thought

[user1484681380]

my partner never gave me any reason not to trust him.. until a few days before christmas he went out with the 'boys' and i saw messages the next evening where he had sent a message saying to his mate that he was trying to 'get on this girl but his mate messed it up' i confronted him about this first of all he made me out to be crazy by deleting the message and pretended i imagined it, he then said he was just showing off and he didnt cheat nor intend to. ive been trying to put it to the back of my mind after 5 years together i expected more from him. now hes saying about going on a lads holiday with the same lads as before. they are such a bad influence they cheat do drugs everything ive said i cant bare the thought of the holiday but he doesnt care i dont know what to do.

It is sadly not abnormal for men to be like this but IMO it is those men (boys nights, lads holidays) that I avoid.

I generally assume that they will be like this - thinking 'getting' women when they are with 'the boys' is cool. Even if they are on the periphery of that behaviour I think it is terribly sexist and wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone who would be around friends doing this nevermind whether they did it themselves or not.

Op, you need a man in your life, not a "lad"

You can do better than thid

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OP if he wants to cheat - he will. You might be able to prevent him going on this lads' holiday (although I doubt it - it sounds like he's decided he's going), but it doesn't mean he'll be faithful here at home. What you need to decide is not whether you want him going on holiday with his mates, but whether you want to share you life with a man you simply don't trust (and with good reason).