Bringing a bit of magic back to a stressful relationship

[iloveberries]

Feeling very low so please be gentle with me

Me and DP have 4DC between us....

We are going through a stressful time with work, his DC and a few relationship problems of our own.

I have been so down and miserable about it and I want to make things better 😢.

I am looking for advice on how I try and improve the situation. We both seem to be constantly treading on eggshells for fear of upsetting the other yet we aren't being ourselves. The weekends where his DC are here are dreadful as we are both so tense as one of his DC is so awful.

I'm at breaking point and I just want to get "us" back. We have had counselling which helped but we really can't afford it at the moment...

What little things can I do? And how can I encourage him to make me feel more loved and appreciated. He used to but that has all but stopped over the last year or two

It's a two way thing & in a nutshell, it's about sex & empathy. I think he probably wants a more active sex life & when he's getting that he'll be more affectionate.
However, without the affection, you won't instigate mind blowing sex & there lies the problem. One of you needs to make the first move.

I might be talking complete bollocks but, a female colleague asked me my opinion on something at work the other week, which sounded quite similar with his lack of empathy, emotion & signs he loved her & now they're back on track

Thanks naze but I don't think it's that. We have a healthy sex life (3x per wk approx) for a couple with a baby and it's me who usually initiates it...