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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice on ex-girlfriend

13 replies

tomwinch557 · 15/01/2017 22:45

So around 5 months ago I got together with someone I met through mutual friends, and things were going swimmingly. We couldnt keep our hands off each other, shagging all the time and had taken numerous trips away spending a lot of time together and discussed a future together. Then one day 2 months ago, to me out of the blue, she said wasn't ready for a romantic relationship. She explained this was because her previous boyfriend had been very unpleasant to her and she could not be involved with someone on a romantic level at the moment, but thought I would not be prepared to wait for her to sort herself out. I said I would be, but she insisted we should be just friends from now on. So I backed off, but we kept meeting up as friends.

Now 2 weeks ago she told me she has been seeing someone and I told her we can't be friends anymore because its too painful for me due to my feelings for her. I also feel that everything she told me previously was lies. But she won't leave me alone - she was crying when I left her house and keeps sending me facebook messages about how she doesn't want to lose me. I don't understand why she can't understand I don't want to watch her be with another guy. Any female insight into her beahviour? Should I just continue to ignore the messages?

OP posts:
hahahaIdontgetit · 15/01/2017 22:48

Yes, absolutely ignore her, she wants you around as a fallback guy, you are worth more than that.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 15/01/2017 22:48

She sounds like an arsehole. You're well rid of her. She wants everything her way and all the attention on her. Go meet somebody worthwhile.

BumDNC · 15/01/2017 22:52

Fallback guy and her guilt. She sounds quite dreadful I do think you would be happier not being her shoulder to cry on while she figures her life out

Underthemoonlight · 15/01/2017 22:53

She keeping you as a stand by if this new relationship doesn't work out. I would block and delete her.

Gallavich · 15/01/2017 22:55

She was bullshitting you when she dumped you and now she wants you to hang about for emotional support/ego boosting/in case this new guy doesn't work out. It's never a good idea to stay in an ex's life when you still have romantic feelings for them.

BonnyScotland · 15/01/2017 22:55

Get Shot... BLOCK... you deserve way better treatment and your correct ... she's been lying to you this entire time.. she was keeping you on a string incase this guy didn't work out.... NASTY

guinnessgirl · 15/01/2017 23:06

She was lying to you before. Now she's trying to keep you attached in case this new relationship goes tits up. Walk away now and don't look back.

I'm sorry Flowers

Valentine2 · 15/01/2017 23:08

You are her back up plan. Tell her it's you who needs time o recover now. I am sure you do need time to recover from this and need to move on ASAP.

TheNaze73 · 16/01/2017 09:19

She has no respect for you & has shown her true colours.

Block her on all social media, WhatsApp etc & move on. You can & know you can do better than this.

HelenaGWells · 16/01/2017 09:24

Block and move on. It will hurt much less than hanging around to watch the chaos. If she cared about you she would have got back together with you rather than pick up some other guy. She clearly saw your relationship as a short term fun fling but wants you around to dote on her/be herfallback guy. You are worth more.

hellsbellsmelons · 16/01/2017 09:48

Block - Delete - Ignore
It's the best thing to do.
Move on with your life.
She has no respect for you.

MsGameandWatch · 16/01/2017 09:54

She probably met him while she was still with you. It's nothing you did, it's just wasn't right for her and that's fine. What's not fine is keeping you dangling around in the name of being "friends". She probably does actually like you as a friend but it's also a bit of ego stroking for her too.

Tenshidarkangel · 16/01/2017 10:14

Same as above. She's used you as a fallback until something she liked better came along. Bollocks to that. You deserve better and 6 months to lead someone on is shit.
Delete - block- so long.

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