Dh and I are going through a very rough patch and it's starting to look like when not if we split, we have a 24m Dd and I'm not sure if either would be suitable looking after her alone.
I have MH problems and have dyspraxia and ASD, I struggle to look after myself somedays never mind her, I'm okay if I'm being supported but I can't see myself getting that support if I'm on my own.
Dh is a functional alcoholic in denial, he had issues from his childhood after being raised by an alcoholic mother (who is now trying to get help) and a step dad who treated his kids different to the kids from a previous relationship and is Nc with his dad due to him abandoning Dh when he was a teen. He also used to be a stay at home dad till I got made redundant and although he claims never to have been drunk in charge of Dd I have heard off family members this might not have always been the case (his preferred hangover cure is hair of the dog)
We have had Ss involvement before when dd was a newborn as our home had issues with cleanliness, which he said was entirely my fault, and while I'll admit I have problems with housekeeping I was working full time up to dd being born and he was unemployed, so was as much to blame as me.
I have a feeling that if we split the custody battle will get nasty as he's already threatened to throw me under the bus if I try take her, and I'll admit I may not be the best person to have custody because of my issues although with help I think I could beat them, but I'm worried about his drinking if he had her all the time, he nearly set the house on fire once after smoking when he was drunk he put his cig out on a tissue luckily I discovered it before it did more than smolder.
Tldr, both Dh and I have issues which I think would be problematic if we were to parent without the support of each other.