Dh and I haven't been great for a long time. We have had marriage counselling but it didn't help.
He still very much wants to stay married, be happy together and all that comes with it. But for me I just can't flick that switch. I wish i could but the idea of being intimate with him now makes me feel ill. I could cry saying that because i know how hurtful that must be for him as he still wants me.
I have told him how i feel. Not in those words obviously but that i dont want him in that way. He keeps trying to fix things by bringing me flowers or trying to kiss/hug me but it just makes me feel so under pressure.
I have asked if we can try and be friends and just co parent the dc because neither of us wants to tear our family apart and also we cannot afford to live seperately.
We are in seperate rooms atm but he is struggling with it. Whereas i am feeling at least i can sleep and relax going to bed knowing i don't need to feel on edge wondering if my leg touches him by accident in the night will he try it on etc.
Argh the whole thing is horrible. I don't want to hurt him but he keeps thinking he can 'fix' it and im worried that by trying to limit the damage i am giving him false hope? I have said - i dont want a marital intimate relationship with you anymore. He just says he will try hard to be just friends but he can't do it forever, that he needs to know there is hope and that he is on the right track. I've told him i cant tell him if i will ever want anything more but at the momemt i don't.
sometimes i just wish he'd meet someone else that he could be happy with