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Original poster

Engagement ring post separation

38 replies

torontonian · 10/01/2017 14:14

I just saw my engagement ring sitting in a bowl and thought it is a pity. I love it (I chose it) and it the the second most expensive thing I have after my house, so I feel remorse it is just collecting dust.

I have read opinions before about selling it or keeping it and passing to your children. It is not so special to be a family jewel and selling would get me less than half its value I suposse.

I postponed the decission when feelings were raw but I am 18 months post separation now. I like it, as a ring. Do you think that it would be weird to wear it? In another finger? In a chain? What do you think?

OP posts:
cx5221 · 10/01/2017 16:34

Sell it even if it's for half the price and blow the money on something you wouldn't normally pay to do / have.

I sold a piece of jewellery my ex gave me for half of what it was worth and spent the money paying to go and learn to surf in Cornwall on my own. I'd always wanted to learn and had never been.
Never in a million years would I have ever done that normally either but as it was something with sentimental value attached i wanted to blow it on something crazy
Weirdly I actually met my husband that week too he was learning to surf too

Boolovessulley · 10/01/2017 16:54

I can't imagine wanting to wear an engagement or wedding ring when you have broken up with that person.

I sold my rings.
I wouldn't want my dp to wear a similar ring either.

Sell it and do as cx suggests.
That's a lovely story byw cx.

ManonLescaut · 10/01/2017 17:32

It doesn't make sense to sell it for much less than you paid for it.

If you were married I'd wear it on my right hand.

If you never married, I might have the stone made into a different ring, or a necklace. Unless it was a vintage/antique ring or family piece in which case I'd case I'd probably wear it on my right hand as above.

Original poster
torontonian · 10/01/2017 17:46

I love the idea or getting it reset! And it would not be strange for the ex either to see me wearing it :)

I didn't break my engagement, I was married for 6 years. I have not asked for his engagement ring back either.

OP posts:
Original poster
torontonian · 10/01/2017 18:00

Just to clarify, only the engagement ring, that I chose and love. The wedding ring is kept in a box and no intention of wearing it. I keep it because it was made out of rings from both our families, so that one will probably pass to my kids.

It is expensive, but not for a house downpayment lol When I said expensive I meant I don't live a luxury life, but probably not expensive for a ring as things go. It was around $4000 so selling it is not going to buy much I can't afford otherwise (maybe a month of mortgage if I am lucky).

We were married for 6 years and have 2 children together. He cheated on me and left me for OW. It is not about the promise (I don't feel love/warmth for him) but the object itself that I like.

I will probably sell his though as he didn't want it and I have no plans for it.

OP posts:
SadTrombone · 10/01/2017 18:11

Melt down metal and reset as pendant / delicate brooch / different style of ring.

BubbleFairy · 10/01/2017 18:16

I still don't know what to do with mine. I sold all the other jewellery but exH wanted me to keep the engagement ring for the children as it was his mother's. But tbh, it's been the engagement ring on two failed marriages now, and I'd hate for either of mine to use it. I might try and sell it in a few years, give them the money when they're older or something. Sadly it's not even gold stamped (though independent jeweller said it's 18ct with 1/4ct diamond, it was handmade) so probably worth very little. It's shoved in a drawer I think.

pinkmagic1 · 10/01/2017 18:21

Sell it and have a fantastic holiday. That's what I would do.

marmitegirl01 · 10/01/2017 19:59

I wore mine for a year or two then sold and took kids to euro disney😂

springydaffs · 10/01/2017 20:06

I wear mine - on that finger Shock

And I was married to an abuser, who has since died. But the ring is utterly gorgeous and was languishing in a hidden place from the burglars drawer for ever. I just thought 'no, I'm going to wear it' and I have ever since. I don't feel dressed without it. Plus I was getting tired of men thinking I was hitting on them when I eg asked a man where the veg bags were in the supermarket..

(Initially I got my wedding ring made smaller as a keeper ring for my engagement ring on my little finger. But the keeper/wedding ring came off in the garage - still haven't found it - and there was no way I was going to risk losing my engagement ring.)

squoosh · 10/01/2017 20:12

'I did look at selling it but the price I was offered was extremely low as I know how much it cost in the first place.'

Engagement rings are a bit like cars, once you've bought it it's already depreciated in value. That's why vintage or secondhand jewellery is such good value.

CatBallou2 · 10/01/2017 21:18

TheTapir, I think that's a wonderful idea. I hope you're not too sad.

ManonLescaut · 11/01/2017 14:26

If you were married for 6 years then it's part of your life. It's quite expensive to have rings reset, so I don't think you should feel obliged to change it. It depends if you can disassociate it from your cheating bastard of a husband...

I wear my grandmother's engagement ring on my right hand and nobody's ever asked me why. They have commented that it's a very pretty ring.

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