Online dating... to be annoyed when...

[Pollyanna9]

We're happily chatting thru whatever site, and then all of a sudden they're like 'Now we'll start using whatsapp instead of this site my number is xxxxx xxx xxxx'.

And I I think, er, no, I'd rather keep chatting on this site. I don't necessarily WANT to give you my phone number or connect with you on WhatsApp - why not ASK me first instead of assuming?

What's so bad about chatting on the site anyway - you're messaging aren't you?!

Don't see a problem with whatsapp personally and you can delete or block the number at a later date if ur doesn't work. Think you may be overthinking this a bit?

Ok OP just accept then you could get qualified out pretty quick if you want to stick on the site for ages. I find asking their real name and doing a few searches on them the best way of ensuring that they are who they say they are and genuine if they want to move off site. And avoided a couple of real "prizes" that way.

As one of the pp said, block button is a beautiful thing.

I'm also a bit of wordsmith, but that doesn't mean the person I am compatible with is.

Good luck though, hope you have fun and find a lovely match x

Same here! Avoided a man who'd subtracted ten years from his real age of 60. When I discovered via linkedIn that he was 60 not 50 I declined to go on the date. And he replied to say that now I wouldn't get to tell him all about my ''life''. Felt like saying, it's your life that shouuld be in inverted commas! Mine is real. Didn't bother though

I don't like phoning a stranger either. I don't hang around too long before a first date and am not so invested in a first date that I would be disappointed if he had a weird voice. So for me there's little point in swapping to whatsapp before meeting. As a result I don't usually give out my number until then either. If he told me we were going to swap numbers I'd think it was a bit thoughtless, but it wouldn't be an instant dismissal. Same if he wanted to know my real name: I would just not give it to him. If he thought that was weird, bad luck! I don't want him googling my address and appearing on my doorstep if I discover on the first date that he's a weirdo and don't make a second one.

One thing that isn't communicated in the written word is keenness, or how much they'd value you. How 'sexy' they are to you and to other women. YOu can build up so much expectations because you have a great on line rapport then you show up and they have Asperger Syndrome . That happened to me.
Also, I had a different guy write such beautiful messages but he was taking ages to construct them, edit them, hone them, it was like a fling with himself.

The best date I ever went on the man sent v formal polite but friendly messages. I could tell he had a sense of humour but we weren't zinging so much that the messages were flying back and forth. Just 'gently' good humoured. Anyway, I am not finding that there is a massive correlation between the level of rapport and humour on screen with the level of rapport / senses of humour in real life.

Yes I find men often ask to switch to WhatsApp really early on. I don't do it any more as some guys want to chat all day and night no exaggeration and it feels rude to not keep responding.

I hate talking on the phone but agree it's a really good way of sussing someone out before you meet. I have changed my mind a few times after a call eg really old fashioned and boring, slagging off the ex, politics, high voice. Saves you wasting time.

Your WPM typing speed is a weird thing to be mentioning here - why do you think that's relevant to using a dating site vs WhatsApp?

The reason the dating sites are crappy is nothing to do with how fast you can type.

Their interface is poor, the way they handle notifications is bad, they often don't handle "messages sent at the same time" sensibly (showing them in the same order for both parties), the indicators for delivered/read/typing-right-now are often not great.

Or they could be cheating bastards who want to use their phone as they delete the app on their mobiles so there OH doesn't find out! A friend of mine found out her husband was cheating as he forgot to delete the app one day before coming home and she saw a notification on his lock screen. Turned out he'd been on pof for months hooking up with different women and they all thought he was single! He had the notifications for WhatsApp turned off so she would never know if he got messages.

A clever cheating bastard would know how to turn off the notifications on the POF app as well.

Therefore, for people who seem clever enough for me to be interested in them, wanting to move from POF to WhatsApp is no indicator of being a cheating bastard.

I agree! To be mentioning wpm mak3s me wonder if you just enjoy the pre-meeting up phase but dont want to meet up.

If you hate the new chat preference, then that is okay. You don't have to like it, so to speak and it does sound weird. Though if I were, I wouldn't be too suprised and looking for reason as much - I have accepted that some people are just weird.

Personally, I find that tinder can go through phases of being really glitchy and if I want to have a conversation it has to be on whatsapp. I also have my tinder notifications turned off so often forget to check messages for several days, which isn't good if it trying to establish a rapport

I forgot about Tinder and its glitches; if you lose a match on there through some site malfunction, you might not find them again without using an external chat app.

Has anybody had luck with pof dating site I joined sat night got 280 meet me requests are they all pervs

Literally all pervs?
What's your profile pic like?

gunner girl as with any of the sites there's a lot of weirdos but also some good ones too! It's just a numbers game, don't get disheartened, try and keep a thick skin and see it as a bit of fun/social life and if anything more comes of it then great! I met a really nice man on POF 3 weeks ago, we've had 5 dates all good so far!

This thread is very interesting, there's such a difference between the way we all do things and what we are happy with it not! I give my number and name, swap to WA and chat on the phone before most times too. I've been OLD a year and honestly had no problems. I just block and delete any odd bods? The trouble with being so restrictive in your approach, there is SO much choice that unfortunately it's highly likely most men will just move on to the next person.

By DH2b wanted to talk on the phone first. I was so shy I could hardly talk. Other than saying pardon? every other word....his accent was so strong I couldn't understand a bloody word he said

Mentioned the wpm because of course, sitting at a keyboard is incredibly quick for me! And very natural.

I am a shite and terribly slow texter and I hate the process of tapping out bloody messages on a phone!

However, I have gone onto WhatsApp with one guy (different to the one I referred to at the start of the thread) and he's absolutely fine. And, in quite the opposite to t'other fella, he's asking me every step of the way the 'is this alright with you' question, which is of course the right way to be.

Going on a date with him Sat night!

If he's got a voice like pee wee herman well, meh, I'll meet him at the pub but then we won't go out out later as we've got planned - I'll just shimmy out the window in the ladies loo [note to self, pack elusive black ninja ger just in case).

YOu can build up so much expectations because you have a great on line rapport then you show up and they have Asperger Syndrome .

Meaning?

If your problem is tapping out messages on a phone then web.whatsapp.com/
might be the thing you are looking for.

I also did not like the Aspergers comment. I'm sure the writer meant "you appear to connect well when texting but in person they are socially awkward and you don't click". Please don't use medical terms when you don't understand them.