DNA test help!!

[PurpleParadise2016]

Hi all, I'll try keep this as short as possible!
Before me and my husband got together he had a girlfriend who he got pregnant, she told him she had an abortion and then a month or so after they broke up and then he met me. We have just found out that this ex gf has a 7 year old daughter and her birthday means she was conceived during their relationship. So she has clearly lied about the abortion. My husband is very upset that he could have potentially been kept away from his daughter for 7 years, but we obviously need to find out if she's his infact his daughter. He's going to message his ex when he figures out what to say but apparently she was a bit of a liar so we think she might lie anyway. Can he somehow make her do a DNA test if she refuses? The dates add up and I honestly think this little girl looks like him and my son. He doesn't want to force himself into her life because he's a stranger to this child but he does want to know the truth and get to know her if she is. Can anyone help?

I can't believe he doesn't want the DNA test
For his own peace of mind! What if she has lied again? You say yourself she is a nut job.....she could be using him for maintenance etc etc

I honestly believe she's his, she looks exactly like him and the dates add up perfectly. Yes I know she could have lied but I don't think she has, I can't force him or his ex to do a DNA it's their choice.

Good luck OP, I hope the mother calms down (reading between the lines I'm assuming she's not happy with the girl staying at yours and/or meeting you and your DS).

I'm not looking to start an argument with pp, but it's always depressing to read comments that suggest a father left out of the picture just has to suck it up and shouldn't be "pushy" about seeing his child. I'm pretty damn sure that wouldn't be said if father had somehow been able to pull the wool over a mother's eyes, had taken the baby away immediately after birth and not told her for 7 years. That would (rightly) be treated as parental abduction. She's effectively done the same thing but, bar the odd "how mean of her," there's nothing like the same level of condemnation.

Thank you PaterPower you hit the nail on the head.

But he isn't on the birth certificate so without a DNA test has no rights at present

No at present he doesn't, she's agreed to get the BC changed, once he's on it he will have parental rights legally.

Well I hope your trust is well placed.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and I'm glad he's spending time with his DD.

I do hope things progress well and she gets to know her half siblings and paternal relatives.

A member of my family got to know his young son from an early age. He was conceived from a ONS when my relative was already in a relationship. His wife supported him & they paid maintenance & had the boy to visit etc (from another country). My relative refused to get a DNA test as the boy looked like other members of the family. Once a year, his wife would ask for the test, although she loved & welcomed the boy etc. Eventually, when the boy was around 19 his father finally agreed to get the test. He wasn't biologically his.. Naturally everyone involved was very upset. I don't have details but know it changed the relationship on the boy's side. A test would be the best way to go forward imo.

Thank you Sandy

Wow that's quite a story, I obviously would prefer him to get a DNA test but I can't force him, his family have also asked him to get one but he doesn't feel the need. She's refusing maintenance off him so he's decided to put money away each month for her future.