Was it inappropriate to say adult child has a 'good body'?

[bottledwater]

Trying to have a convo with DH about this atm, one of us said it about our adult child. What do you think?

Maybe you hit a nerve in your husband and he's comparing himself to your son,

He does have a point, it would be different for a man to say his daughter has a good body. On a personal level I wouldn't use those words personally, more I'd say you look very lean or very fit , I'm not sure I'd say you've a good body but I guess that could be as I have a daughter, so it would feel a bit , well wrong, with her it would be more you have a lovely figure or you are looking very fit or something,

Although to be honest I don't think I'd even says my friends sons had good bodies , especially not whilst looking at them in their swimwear, feels a bit, eugh, if uou know what I mean.

I think he has a point.

I think your DH has a point.

If you'd said ' gosh look how he's grown up and become all muscly' it would have been quite different. As that is specific to your DS and how he has grown (and you've probably been saying similar for his whole life).

But I can see how the general 'good body' is far too close to an appraising comment that reflects adult sexual interest.

So saying "you've become very muscular" to your adult son is weird and pervy now???

It's in no way weird or pervy, it's just a feckin observation. There's something weird and pervy thinking that it's weird and pervy!

Depending ofc on how you phrased it and the look on your face I don't think it would be odd or weird. A good body is what every mother hopes her child has at any age.

Funny how 'fit' in terms of appearance just used to mean healthy but now it stands for 'hot' so can't really use that any more.

It's not inappropriate OP. He's probably just had a wake up call that he's newly adult son is physically better than him and is mad at the prospect/realisation that he's old/not as young.

As long as it wasn't some Trumpism along the lines of

"He's hot! I'd do that if we weren't related!"

which would be creepy.

Taking a little parental pride in how well the kids turn out is pretty standard.

I don't think saying someone has become more muscular is a problem.

Saying fit or good body could be.

Sometimes it's good to go for the version that is never going to be a problem.

I think it's totally dependent on tone and context. If you're saying to an insecure teen, "Of course girls will be interested - you're a clever boy and you've got a good body" then it's totally different from, "He'abgot a good body" as a random observation out of the blue.

I wouldn't think twice about it. The weird thing is people assuming it's a sexually-driven comment made by a mother about her son.

Sounds like dad's paranoid about his moobs! Nothing inappropriate in what you said at all.

I think father has been confronted with his own latent homosexuality. Or something like that. (Surprised nobody has come up with this yet)

I don't see the issue. Dd1 has a stunning figure and both dh and my female friends have commented on what a gorgeous figure she has and she's not even hit puberty. My teenage son has recently lost weight, grown and is working out a lot more and all my friends have commented on how gorgeous he's become and what a good body he has.

I don't see the issue.

I suspect tone and exact wording makes the world of difference here.

I don't see the issue. Dd1 has a stunning figure and both dh and my female friends have commented on what a gorgeous figure she has and she's not even hit puberty.

So saying "you've become very muscular" to your adult son is weird and pervy now??

^^ That's not what she said though.

Good body isn't the same as muscular.

I tell my DDs they look good /fit /slim quite a lot. Especially when they wear figure hugging outfits. I want them to be confident.

My DH will complement their outfits, but if he started commenting on their bodies, I'm not sure how I'd feel.

It's all in the wording. "The hard work at the gym is paying off Robbie. I'm pleased you're looking after yourself " ... may not have got the same reaction from him ... but hindsight is a wonderful thing and you didn't know he'd have that reaction.

FGS, there is a world of difference between acknowledging that someone has a good body and 'phwoar' and that is in tone. I would describe my male relatives who spend a lot of time at the gym as having good bodies because they are in peak condition and they are 20, but I also see them as very young and look at them like 'aw' they're sweet. I think there are a lot of young men of this ilk about.

It wouldn't bother me if I was described as having a good body or a nice figure because both those things are true - I'm very into running and I work hard at it, added to the genetic things. My parents would describe me as gorgeous even though I'm not - just as I would say of my nephew for example. It's what we do about people younger isn't it? My youngest sister and her mates have no idea how gorgeous and I think the majority of 20 year olds are, and also unaware of it. I know I wished I'd appreciated it at the time! I can imagine complaining to my Dad about being single and him saying I'm a great catch - good career, outgoing and he would probably include being attractive in that.

When I got out of my teenage years and grew in confidence to be able to wear skirts, I remember my dad saying I had my mums legs and it was nice to see me become confident to wear them following my goth long skirts and baggy clothes. It doesn't make him Donald bloody Trump. There's so much shame about bodies and it's sad. Good body is not the same as 'nice tits/arse'. Now, the Nethuns on my FB who refer to their 'sexy lil man' aged 3, they get my ire.