FFS, getting the brush-off again.

[namechange102]

Not sure why I'm posting this, just need a vent, I think.

Thanks to all who posted on my previous thread about when is a red flag not a red flag. I spent the past few days considering all the things which I have concerns about (there were more than I actually posted about) and wrote a really long, calm letter detailing everything, where I feel I stand, and the future. (When we have spoken about this stuff before it more than not turns into a blazing row.) The first thing I asked him to do was read the red flag thread, as he seems to believe that I am just about the only person who thinks a certain way about this stuff, and I'm obviously not. Well, an hour later, he's read the letter, not the thread, and is sitting playing computer games. He's just this minute come down to (I assume) read the thread after I went in and told him he wasn't taking me seriously.

What's the betting I'll get all the same excuses and brush-offs as before, only this time he'll be super pissed a bunch of strangers have slagged him off online?

I see people on here a lot who get so obsessed with evidence and being right it kind of distracts from the entire point of what the problem is.

So if he admits he is wrong what then? What will it actually change for you? Just to show him you are right and he is wrong (which won't work because people who never admit they are wrong and twist things will do this regardless of what you show them) will not really help in the grand scheme of things.

I think it's a path you are going down to avoid taking the next step - if there is no trust it's over. If you don't want to end things then you need to decide whether counselling is a better method of communicating than this

Where did he take a condom?! I missed that on your other thread.

The only reason for him to take a condom anywhere is if he's some kind of contraceptives advisor going off to work.

Is he?

Ha, Elisandra, you know he isn't. He actually is in a job which requires a great amount of working away. On that occasion, he took a condom away with him to a weekend conference. I realised, gave him the opportunity to fess up when he got back. Denied everything apart from the fact I could prove. That's a whole other story, but obv set the standard for the relationship now I look back.

I used to work away every week. Now it's only every other week.
I have never ever taken a condom with me.
I think I posted earlier in the thread, that just because something happened a long time ago, doesn't mean you lose the ability to act on it later.
If you feel like saying "you took a fucking CONDOM away with you, you arsehole - I don't care that it was 1973, you're dumped!" then you are allowed to do that.