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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

are these signs or am I paranoid?

32 replies

Canttrustanymore · 05/01/2017 06:43

DP does the following:

-Turns phone screen away from me when we're out or in bed - I can see its conversations but not much more.

-Acts less interested day to day - rarely flirty messages, compliments etc (used to be constant)

  • CONSTANT adding females on social media he insists he know (when some are pages from models and people with thousands of followers? !)

-Gets angry at me for bringing any of it up because it's me being paranoid and over analysing.

-has a few females who 'like' and 'comment' on everything he posts.. Even if he hasn't been active for several days (so he must be talking to them for them to be scrolling through his profile if he hasn't posted to bring stuff up?!)

  • one more really dodgy thing I don't want to write on here as it will make obvious who I am! Please send direct message and I will let you know. Sad

Bit of background: met a year ago, despite these things we do still spend time together very regularly, he does make plans to see me. Also once I snuck a look at his phone and he was just playing candy crush. Blush and not sure if he was only messaging loads and being flirty when it was still in the 'winning me over' phase?

Also I completely understand the lack of trust being a very bad sign. But I do have a tendency to over think. Opinions welcome!! FlowersCake

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 05/01/2017 17:01

I'm not trying to get you to say what the "really dodgy" thing was, I understand you need to keep that private.
But just have a think what people would say if you explained it here - do you think they'd say "suspicious as fuck and I wouldn't like it"?

understandnothing · 05/01/2017 22:50

Is your relationship public on social media? I realised that my ex was hiding anything I posted to his page. He removed his relationship status. It was a huge red flag that I minimised.

A pp asked if there was a history of infidelity. You may only have his word on that and he may not tell you the truth.

My ex also added a collection of females from his hobby and flirted pathetically with one of them, although she ignored him as far as I could see.
And was always on his phone which had a cover and password protected.

Oh what a fool I was! Sad
Trust your gut.

isagrey64 · 10/02/2017 04:24

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user1486613612 · 10/02/2017 04:53

Well I also find it weird to write a lot of xxx's to someone, which happens if you bump into someone from the UK online, but that is more because I'm from another place and don't quite understand that x stuff, because for me the letters have no significance - just outright odd. First time it happened I thought "-What's that? Eh??? googling extensively"

That said, I get the point. What I think you might want to try is to like and comment on everything he posts you yourself, pretend to truly like it (no sarcastic comments). Obviously he has a need to get the feedback of the type "you're awesome" (and in all honesty who doesn't?) which is also precisely what you get from playing Candy Crush. I don't play it, but on the tube I see people who do, and their screens constantly flashes up with "You're awesome! Flowers" "Great work! Star Star Star" etc. etc.

sofato5miles · 10/02/2017 04:58

Isagrey64 What are up to reviving all these threads?

alexpayne070 · 09/03/2017 13:10

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SparklingRaspberry · 09/03/2017 14:09

I always find it weird when men add loads of women on Facebook they don't know. It's just creepy! It's something 18 year old boys do who try their luck and message anyone who accepts them.

I also find the rest a little weird.

Not much advise I'm afraid OP, but trust your gut is all I can say

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