DH repeatedly breaks my trust contacts for sexy chats/meetings

[humphreyjan]

Hope I can get some advice on here

I'm not a mum but am terribly in need of advice, been with my husband for at lot of years, and married since 200X In March 15 I realised he'd been setting himself up on Tinder and having local sexy chats to meet up when I was planning to have a night away with my sis in law. I told DH that the day had changed and hey ho the date of meeting changed I blew my stack and he deleted the app.
In August 15 on another weekend in Europe again he'd been randomly chatting with lovely thai birds, held off until we arrived home, then again blew my stack, again teerful promises to deal with it
In September 15 I realised on a night away with him, he was having, yes more sexy chats/showing his bits sat on a hotel bog with some random bird, and more emails to a local whore planning to meet up.
Finally just before Christmas 16 I found yet another chain of conversations with a "Hot ts professional masseause ­ t4m" on Craigslist planning yes you guessed it to meet up when I was going to be away for the night with my younger brother.

We have had a really shitty year with his elderly mum being in hospital for ops. I decided to tell him to leave and go and stay at his mums house, but after one night I realised that he was heading for a severe bout of depression over it and suggested that he came back. However
I insisted that

1. he told his mum and younger sister whats been going on (he did so)
2. that he seeks professional help (again he has commenced therapy starting in a couple of weeks )
3. that a well know brand of family shielding is installed on all of our tablets, phones, and laptops/PC's.

My brother and his wife know but my elderly parents have no idea of our troubles (and I dont want to tell them yet)

But I feel that I am now in limbo. He is living in the house, and is up beat, yet I feel so sad and low.

Trust is fully gone
Respect is gone
Maintains it's not to do with me, which maddens me the most.
Every time he does this, it affect me, cannot trust him, cannot be sure of his motivations to be in my life, am i just a gullible mug helping him out with his mother, shopping and helping generally. He maintains these chats are a fantasy and he would (never) act on them, yet when I checked and changed dates of my visits away, hey ho the fantasy dates changed too. To make it worse, I am well over my target weight, and feeling fat and frumpy as well, so seeing sexy Thai birds making plans for "massage" just makes me spit.

I have told him I would go to relate with him once his therapy finishes but I think I will brain him if he doesnt comprehend how bitter and sad I am feeling over his "fantasies". I dont have any female friends whom I can talk this over with, my brother has been amazing, yet I know he wants to kick DH in the arse over it.

Depression please that's bullshit. He Panicked cos you threw him out and grew a set, now he knows he can play you with the sorry and oh I'm depressed shit.

Get some of your own therapy and throw this piece of shit out.

Showing his bits to some woman while in the toilet? How delightful Were it not that the timings are wrong I'd wonder if you've got my ex there, who used to send dirty pics to his women while in the toilet ... seemed apt, somehow

PPs are right that he'll carry right on because he knows there are no consequences, so never mind everyone else suggesting things for a moment - what do you want to do?

Emotionally, you are already out the door and down the hall. If you don't trust him it's over. I would have been gone long before if I were you. Life is too short for this bullshit.

At what point will you have enough of his disrespect to you?

He's had 3 strikes. ... how many more?

At a certain point, you need to look at yourself and why you tolerate it, because he does it because he can and you have shown it's not a dealbreaker ... why would he stop? You being upset isn't a reason for him. He doesn't care.

People treat you how you let them. You need to get him to leave and mean it this time. If he's depressed he can see his GP. Aren't you depressed with his crap.