Eighth Night - on the sofa

[IronNeonClasp]

And not mentioned? Like - "you have the bed tonight? I will sleep on the sofa"

The super king sized bed that I bought?

We have recently discussed separation etc but is this is not nice - right?

Letting your wife sleep on the sofa?

It took me almost a year to kick out X(H)!

Who pisses the bed? You or your h?

Him. The bed is fucked. I can't believe I am admitting this. I feel terrible to him but I am at my wits end. The three times in a week was a one off and sure external factors/booze/stress caused this. Normally once in three weeks but not nice. I am conditioned/ normalised as have lived with it for over 10 years but I am desperately sick of it too.

Hoping to see a solicitor next couple of weeks but strength is buggered. I am honestly exhausted..

Thanks for all of your replies.

I am truly mortified / embarrassed / head fucked. And yes there are other factors and complications.

You'll be less exhausted once you get him the fuck out of your life!

He expects you to sort it?

Ok. Change the locks, put a couple of bags of his stuff on the front step and tell him he can get the rest when he has found a place. Job done.

I couldn't be married to a man who pisses in the bed. I wouldn't want the bed to be honest.

You need to seperate asap.

Why on earth do you want to sleep in the pissy bed?! I agree with the others you need to sort the situation but in the meantime stay on the sofa! Once he's gone get a new bed

Back in the real world, I assume your DH is a joint owner/tenant of the house. ? If this is the case then you are absolutely not allowed to change locks and put his property on the pavement! (Well, you could, but he has every right to change them back which would just be a colossal waste of family money and distressing for DCs.)

You need to sort this properly. First you need a good nights sleep, no one can function without it, so go buy yourself a good single mattress and sleep on it in the sitting room.
Then go visit a lawyer and get the ball rolling. If there is no property/money to argue over, then go to county court. Get there divorce pack (free) follow instructions and do it yourself. PM me if you get stuck. (It's quite straightforward though).

Pay your fee, (when I did it, it was £212. ) and if you , without his income are on a low wage, then fill in fee exemption form and you won't have to pay or will get a discount depending on income. The income level is not just those in receipt of benefits, you really have to have quite a lot left over after bills not to be eligible for help.

DIY divorce is ONLY suitable if you have no property ownership/savings . Or can agree a fair split between you.

Whichever you do, you need to get it sorted.

Thanks for the replies.
Thanks Marillyn and no I would not change the locks. You are right, we mortgage the house.

Been looking at finances for an hour and a half. I'm not sure I can even afford to do anything until September. Urgh

Would you put up?
Realise he has 'issues' and be understanding or move on?
He called me a "fucking monster" and a "fucking bitch" two days before our wedding anniversary. And beat fuck out of a sideboard and the bedroom door. I saw his knuckles a couple of days later.

He may as well have thrown me down the stairs in all honesty...

I think you've just answered your own question Iron

What is happening in September that changes things financially, OP?

I will have paid off a couple of loans.

All money is on me. I feel like I am miss moneybags. I don't want to think like that but it was the first thing he mentioned on the 3rd convo re: separation.

I agree - have answered my own question. All going to be v troublesome and financially screwed

At least buy a waterproof matress cover to use until he leaves and then replace matress!

Take turns?