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Original poster

How to respond or possibly not respond

44 replies

chasegirl · 02/01/2017 21:35

I was seeing a man on a casual basis friends with benefits type thing but neither of us were sleeping with anyone else-well that's what he assured me.
I have since found out that he has another Fwb he was seeing at the same time and also went on holiday with her.
I was just going to not bother contacting him and quietly delete him from Facebook but he has now sent me a message asking how my new year was etc.
He doesn't know I know.
Should I just continue to ignore him or respond in some way?
I really want to keep the small bit of dignity I have left in this situation as I think he has taken me for a fool that's why I am asking

OP posts:
lovelyshinyhair · 03/01/2017 01:07

Don't reply that will bug him more than anything

StiffenedPleat · 03/01/2017 01:37

Oh please, just ignore him. Completely.

SoleBizzz · 03/01/2017 01:39

Dump him. Just say it's over, I'm bored of you, do not contact me again. Get over it ok? Bye block/delete and never respond to him again under any circumstances.

SoleBizzz · 03/01/2017 01:41

Or don't respond at all. After all revenge is a dish best seven cold and I think it will puzzle him forever.

Maverickismywingman · 03/01/2017 01:43

Ok. He lied.

But be the bigger person.

"It's not working for me. Enjoy time with your other FWB. All the best".

Done

BubblingUp · 03/01/2017 03:55

Sounds like you may have been more of an OW, than a FWB.

Original poster
chasegirl · 03/01/2017 17:52

Bubbling you might have a point. He's asked to meet for coffee to. Will just message thanks for the invite but our friendship has come to the end of its road and leave it at that. No explanation and no 'sorry' cos I am not.
He's not much of a friend of any description

OP posts:
TLC1975 · 03/01/2017 18:21

I think your last message attempt was spot on. Bring it to an end with class and not mention the ow. Not replying or passive aggressive messages are for teens. If it must be done, do it with dignity. Good luck.

SparklyMagpie · 03/01/2017 18:56

You're doing the right thing OP
I know how easy it is to fall in the trap when they start contacting and wanting to meet for coffee etc

Don't give him anymore of your time,you're worth more than that :)

I only said ignore and block in the beginning because I've been through this so many times and it's just not worth it in the end

But you have more respect for yourself, there is someone out there better for you!

Xx

Original poster
chasegirl · 04/01/2017 11:52

He's sent a message back that he is very sad I don't want to be friends any more and he doesn't understand why as I always seemed to have a good time with him

OP posts:
BonnyScotland · 04/01/2017 15:33

good girl.... you've usurped him lol

walk away now x

Daisiesandgerberas · 04/01/2017 16:16

Op,
You never WERE friends if he lied to you Confused

I had this with someone for a whopping 10 years and could now write a book on it.

He wants you as an ego boost I'm afraid.

Sorry.

Original poster
chasegirl · 04/01/2017 16:33

Daisies I agree.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/01/2017 16:39

Good for you, chasegirl, don't respond now, leave him to be 'sad'. Onwards and upwards for you. I don't think FWB is your thing but somebody authentic and nice would be right up your street. Hope you find him soon. :)

Daisiesandgerberas · 04/01/2017 16:41

I'm sorry Flowers

Voice of experience.

He's keeping the dialogue open so in his head he's worth your time & as such, he is important.

Please don't waste your time, love, energy on this person who says one thing but does another.

Adora10 · 04/01/2017 16:46

Right now you block and ignore, you don't owe him nothing when he has lied to your face, move on.

Original poster
chasegirl · 04/01/2017 16:56

I have ignored and blocked. Hopefully I won't bump into him for a few weeks so will have a chance to recover. Thank you all for the support xx

OP posts:
BonnyScotland · 04/01/2017 20:22

I'm pleased for you.... keep smiling x

TwoCirclesthatdontoverlap · 04/01/2017 20:54

Yes you are doing the right thing. This time last year I was being used for a relationship. I didn't feel used for sex. I felt like I was in a relationship but it was like being on a temporary contract and we both free lanced. Argh. Awful. And yet I did have feelings for him. I ended the arrangement telling him it wasn't good enough. He told me he had always been there for me but considered himself a free agent He was very upset! He was viewing my profile on linkedIn the other day but I will not get sucked back in.

For that reason I'm wary of being 'friends' with men now. Half the time they want the emotional intimacy of a gf but with the freedom of a single man. Can't have it both ways sunny. except he did for six months and i rue my idiocy now

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