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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Consent Orders help!

34 replies

amammabear · 02/01/2017 20:54

I've applied for a divorce from my ex, he says he's sending the papers straight back, so it won't be long until I get the decree nisi and so I need to get on with the consent order...

The problem is, I'm confused- and Google isn't helping me. For the consent order, obviously, he has to consent, but does he have to actually be involved in it?

I know it has to be drawn up by a solicitor which I'm going to have to bite the bullet and pay for, but he doesn't have a solicitor. So what happens? Can anyone that's been through it shed any light on it for me?

OP posts:

Whatevs80 · 03/01/2017 20:39

Thanks.. God I just want it over and done with, sure you do too!

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/01/2017 20:45

Sorry if this seems dim, but if that's the case how does anyone ever walk away with 100% of the assets - assuming you've both agreed?

It is very very very unusual for someone to get 100% of the assets.

Original poster

amammabear · 03/01/2017 20:46

Absolutely, I just want to get it over with

OP posts:

Whatevs80 · 03/01/2017 21:02

Of course, that's why I have pointed out that's not at all what I hope to achieve.

Original poster

amammabear · 03/01/2017 21:16

Whatevs, did you mean that some people often say that their ex took them for everything in their divorce or something similar, and that you wondered how that could happen?

OP posts:

Whatevs80 · 03/01/2017 21:21

*amamabear.. Sort of, but I guess the long and short of it is, perhaps naively I thought that if we were both in agreement, the court part was more of a formality...

The prospect of this dragging out for any longer than necessary is horrid...
He doesn't pay enough maintenance compared to CSA recommendations and I've been advised to use this to "offset" the settlement... So, I guess, Mr judge may see this in my favour.

STBXH is insinuating I want to "leave him with nothing", it's very draining

Whatevs80 · 03/01/2017 21:23

...and, I had rather hoped if we could go into mediation with a preliminary agreement in mind it would save a lot of time and money, but maybe I'm being over optimistic ..

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/01/2017 21:26

He doesn't pay enough maintenance compared to CSA recommendations and I've been advised to use this to "offset" the settlement

Not sure court would offset one against the other tbh.

Original poster

amammabear · 04/01/2017 00:57

I'm having the same problem with cm

OP posts:

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