Hello,
My youngest almost certainly has PDA. However, perhaps ironically, he refuses to participate in any formal diagnostic assessment. Screening from CAMHS which includes reports from school/PRU, a developmental interview with family and short interviews and observations in which my son participated evidence a strong need for further assessment.
Yes, we have 'problems' in our family. My eldest son and my husband have Asperger syndrome and mental ill health, our family has separated and Child Protection Plans are in place for both children. These factors have been considered and, despite any environmental influences, there are fundamental traits, including a pattern of disengagement, intervention from school, speech and language services, CAMHS and obsessional attachments which have led to the break down of relationships which evidence that my youngest (also) has underlying needs related to autism with a demand avoidant profile.
The relationship between environment and ASC (including PDA) is very complex. It can be a sort of chicken and egg situation. The behaviour of children with PDA can be extremely challenging and (as may well be the case) if other family members have difficulties coping with the challenging environment, they may react in ways which escalate behaviours in all members. In our case three out of four of the family members are on the autism spectrum.
In our family, my younger son's behaviour was challenging primarily due to his profile (PDA) but it was escalated by the reaction of other members. My son's behaviour became obsessively controlling and contributed to the breakdown in my eldest son's mental health; my eldest son's mental breakdown resulted in extremely challenging behaviour and my husband's inability to cope escalated the situation further. It resulted in a situation that was dangerous and impossible to manage without radical intervention.
We have worked with and continued to work with agencies. At no point have our children been used as 'pawns' and any 'neglect' if it has occurred, has come from agencies and services which have not responded to their needs or our requests for help in an extremely difficult situation.
There are issues in our family which need addressing, but these are due to the needs of individual family members and our particular situation and the PDA would be present whatever the circumstances. However, there are many families (please see the forum of the PDA Society) which are models of functionality but, despite all the positive context, PDA has had a devastating effect on the child, family and carers.
The original poster has a very different family circumstance to mine. Every family is unique. However, PDA is not an excuse for the effects of 'neglect' and 'abuse'. It is part of the autism spectrum (often not recognised as such in certain local authorities) and it can be present in individuals in any familial context.