Useful information and links for people dealing with narcissistic or difficult ex partners.

[Lilacpink40]

There is a parallel thread for discussing and venting about ex's selfish and controlling behaviour.

This post is hopefully for sharing concise practical advice on surving a stressful ex, such as hyperlinks to informative literature and websites or positive thoughts and images.

No hard and fast rules, fine to vent anywhere you need to, but you may find more responses on other thread.

NB.
Anyone should feel free to post and no idea is wrong
WN= Wank Narc

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2803565-Support-thread-for-those-of-us-having-to-co-parent-with-a-narc-or-very-difficult-exh-thread-4

outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/the-3-cs-rule

On The other thread, I was recommended this website OUT OF THE FOG.
Ive found it brilliant.

www.abuseandrelationships.org/Content/Basics/escalation.html

Found this very enlightening too.

youarenotcrazy.com

Difficult to navigate but worth it.

Here's my advice after leaving the narc ex 6 years ago.
Very limited contact.
None if you can
All legal stuff though solicitor
Never respond to anything emotional
Never respond to anything unless it's about child access arrangements
Know that they are hollow shells of beings with no sense of consequence or empathy and they will never see their behaviour is bad
You will never ever get the truth so don't bother trying

Couldn't agree more jeaux90 Takes a while to get to that point, but it's the only destination that allows you to move on with your life.

Nice, amen to that. Takes a while. I think it's because as a decent person you want to believe that no one can be that utterly devoid of any sense of decency. Once you accept that you are half way to recovery.

Great to see posts so far 😀
I recommend two books:
Living with the passive agressive man. Good general introduction with examples, if you've ever faced quiet aggression and felt extreme guilt.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0671870742/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483124055&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=living+with+the+passive-aggressive+man&dpPl=1&dpID=51xeHKy16ML&ref=plSrch

The Path Forward Surviving the Narcissist.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0985832703/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483124322&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+path+forward+surviving+the+narcissist&dpPl=1&dpID=519hB7cCtyL&ref=plSrch
Chapters are in a pathway and inspirational to read:

1. Understand it
2. Get it out (talk about it)
3. No contact
4. Get real (for truth)
5. Wake up (find yourself)
6. Heal (live in the moment)

Thanks for the thread lilac

Definitely second out of the fog

Freedom Programme www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Living with the dominator book (based on Freedom Programme) www.amazon.co.uk/d/Books/Living-Dominator-Pat-Craven/1477410597

Lundy Bancroft book www.amazon.co.uk/d/cka/Why-Does-He-Do-That-Inside-Controlling/0425191656

Parallel parenting outofthefog.website/separating-divorcing/2015/12/6/parallel-parenting this was a lightbulb moment for me!

Gray rock method www.thriveafterabuse.com/going-gray-rock/

www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/family-mediation/assessment-meeting-miam/
Family mediation before court link.

freedomfromnarcissisticandemotionalabuse.weebly.com/blog/minimizing-a-form-of-control#.WLL3m55S7nM.facebook

Useful link from parallel thread from Biblio on difficulty leaving negative relationship
www.npr.org/2015/02/13/385948508/how-sunk-cost-fallacy-applies-to-love

"Here's my advice after leaving the narc ex 6 years ago.
Very limited contact.
None if you can
All legal stuff though solicitor
Never respond to anything emotional
Never respond to anything unless it's about child access arrangements
Know that they are hollow shells of beings with no sense of consequence or empathy and they will never see their behaviour is bad
You will never ever get the truth so don't bother trying"
Awesome advice Jeaux

I found this enlightening.

psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2010/03/29/narcissists-who-cry-the-other-side-of-the-ego/