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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone else's husband a klutz/clown?

9 replies

dontbesillyhenry · 28/12/2016 19:13

It's getting really wearing now. Over the last week he has lost 60 pounds in cash money given to the kids for Christmas. He was 'looking after' our sons money just- ten minutes later it's not in his pocket anymore- we just found it in the bin 😡
He's thrown out important documents sentimental things clothes and even presents before. I love him but I'm sick and tired off this and have issues ultimatums time and time again that he needs to change but he seems totally unable to.
Anyone else got an other half like this and how the hell do you cope?

OP posts:
Jog22 · 28/12/2016 20:13

Is there any chance he's doing this on purpose?

dontbesillyhenry · 28/12/2016 20:24

No because I make him replace any lost money he misplaces. He would be a total idiot if he was doing it on purpose

OP posts:
SingingSeal · 28/12/2016 20:30

how is he at work, do you know?

what explanation does he give for his klutzdom?

has he always been this way i.e. before you married?

offside · 28/12/2016 20:34

I think you need to start following through with your ultimatums. Once you say you're going to do something and you don't, he's never going to take you seriously. This.does sound exhausting though.

dontbesillyhenry · 28/12/2016 21:40

He seems to manage at work just fine.
Which is what pisses me off so much. Hopeless at home but can follow orders at work. Says it all.
It's the kids he hurts when he loses their money etc

OP posts:
user1480613212 · 29/12/2016 05:22

There could be underlying health / mental issues.

RiceCrispieTreats · 29/12/2016 05:47

It could be so many things, OP. From sabotage, to early onset dementia.

user1479302027 · 29/12/2016 10:50

I am the other half "a bit like this" unfortunately!

I do try and focus, and put effort in, but sometimes I am in a lot of pain and I just make glaring mistakes - administered my daughter's inhaler with the lid still on for two days; lose money, drop things when washing up etc etc. Morally, I feel I am trying and that's what I can do; I understand that living with a "clown" might not be everone's dream life, however.

All I can say is that he might be trying, and an ultimatum might not help. It might be due to a general daydeaminess, which can hardly be re-engineered, or as user1480613212 mentions, there might be an underlying reason that it is unfair to "blame" him for. In my case, maybe my partner will eventually leave because I am not able to function 100%, as I have done for the last 20 years.

Does he offer explanations why he makes the errors?

RandomMcRandomer · 29/12/2016 10:56

I'm like this. I likely have asd and I think it's related to that. I just genuinely loose track
Of things. Actual stuff as well as thoughts

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