Other half's obsessive tidying is driving me nuts!

[user1482877314]

Hello, I'm new to mumsnet and in need of advice please.
I have been with my otherhalf for six years and we have two young children together (aged 3.5 years and 16 months). He is driving me nuts as he is more concerned with living in a show home rather than raising his children! He never sits and plays with the kids and is forever moaning about them making a mess. He hates seeing toys around the house and seems to spend all of his time tidying up/putting toys away. I'm sorry if it seems like I am being petty but I just want him to join in with his family rather than washing up/hoovering/ bleaching the bloody toilet! He spends so much time moaning about the state of the house (our house is actually very clean and tidy considering we have two young children!). He describes it as living in a dump-its not a dump, there's just kids stuff (toys, high chair, pram etc). He spent Christmas constantly tidying up. As soon as the kids opened a present, he was finding a storage place for it rather than showing an interest/playing with it. I feel like all the playing/ giving my children a childhood is all down to me and I'm exhausted. He doesn't even take them out anywhere-not even the the park! He would rather be cleaning?! I'm getting so down about this as I think our children deserve more.
Any input would be great. Thank you.

Could you not broach the subject by saying, his job on Christmas eve was to look after the children. Why didn't he do his job?

His job as a father is to play with his children. Why is he not doing his job?

Iyswim

Do you have space for a playroom so all the toys are in there? I dont like looking at all the toys and baby stuff either but my babys happiness trumps tidying and putting toys away.

Cant you speak to him and tell him what he is doing and how it makes you feel?

Thanks so much for all of your replies. I had the big conversation with him yesterday. He did get a bit defensive at first but did agree to chill out a bit in the end. He hardly did any tidying today and even took the kids to the park. I realise that this probably won't last but at least he is making an effort I guess. I totally get the OCD thing... It's either that or he is just bored?! I get the feeling that he finds it boring spending time with the kids?!

He has always been a bit on the OCD side when it comes to the house. I have told him that he can't be like that now the kids are here because they are kids!! They are messy!! I have also told him that our kids happiness comes before a neat and tidy house.

I guess I will have to see if he has taken in what I have said

I can understand this from both sides to be honest. It must drive you nuts that he is always on edge and chooses housework over family time. But it sounds as though he could have OCD which is why I can sympathise with him as I am very similar and it is hard stop doing those things. Do you think he would speak to his gp about it?