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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

He says he wants to see me and then doesn't bother to arrange anything, why?

11 replies

Blosom8 · 26/12/2016 19:34

Can you please help me make sense of this man? I've been out on 6 dates with a man (I'm 42 and he's 47). He keeps messaging me saying he wants to see me and then makes no arrangements. Why does he do this?
I know he has a busy job (in a responsible position which makes me wonder why he doesn't know better) and has had a difficult time lately but why then even bother to say he wants to see me?
Why doesn't he just leave me alone and not contact me?
When I ask him if he really wants to see me he says he does so much.
Any help to make sense of this is much appreciated.

OP posts:

neonrainbow · 26/12/2016 19:35

Bin him. He's not worth trying to figure out. If he wanted to see you he'd make it happen

Maverickismywingman · 26/12/2016 19:40

So this would be the point where I say "Friday or Saturday 7pm". And if he can't do those or suggest an alternative - don't bother. He has no time for a relationship

Shylo · 26/12/2016 19:42

Because he's a dick. Some people just are and you shouldn't waste yor energy trying to figure out why, it's just exhausting.

Block and move on to someone who does want to spend time with you :)

Joysmum · 26/12/2016 19:42

Send back one word, 'when?'

Original poster

Blosom8 · 26/12/2016 19:42

I've asked him what time he can do when he asks if I'm free and then he doesn't respond or messages back that he's somewhere else still then nothing...................

OP posts:

Maverickismywingman · 26/12/2016 19:44

Then reply and say " you clearly have no time for a relationship but I think this is goodbye"

JennyHolzersGhost · 26/12/2016 19:45

Then I'd stop replying to him. He's using you as backup / an ego boost. Fuck that shit. Move on. Not worth investing time and energy over.

MsVestibule · 26/12/2016 20:06

He's really not worth your time. Just don't bother responding to his messages unless he specifically says 'can we meet up on...?' but TBH, I think he's shown you his true colours already.

Every successful relationship I've ever had, the man has never messed me around like this, and the ones who have, it's NEVER gone anywhere. (Sorry, appalling grammar, but you get the gist!)

Joinourclub · 26/12/2016 20:10

Because he's just not that in to you.

Heirhelp · 26/12/2016 20:16

Jenny has the answer. This is not going any where you want it to.

Original poster

Blosom8 · 26/12/2016 21:10

Thank you. I've just messaged him to say I realise he's not interested. Onwards and upwards.

OP posts:

Flip