My mum and my sister had an actual f'ing fight today

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So the big day is nearly here... I've been busy planning a naice Christmas eve dinner, as I do every year, for all the family. Just as DH and serve up the turkey with all the trimmings, we notice something is going on between DM and my DS. I ask DM, who by this time has a face like a slapped arse, to cheer up for the DC sake. She disappears upstairs, followed by DS, and they end up having an actual fight (spitting, shoving, headbutting). I am so embarrassed, ashamed and heartbroken. How can people behave like this?

I just had the same between fil and bil2. Bil1 and sil had cooked us a lovely meal and it kicked off! Really felt bad for bil and sil who had slaves over the cooking.

What an awful situation. But it's over now so at least you can enjoy a peaceful Christmas Day and hopefully laugh about this one day.

Leslie - I'm so sorry to hear you're with selfish shits for Christmas too. How did it get resolved? What did your hosts do? I think I am still in shock. I just can't understand how it escalated so quickly. I was trying to act normal and sobbing over the washing up when they were here, now I feel furious with both of them.

Wow, but you don't see them tomorrow.

You are better than that.

Your kids will piss themselves laughing about this in years to come.

I just sat there in shock. SIL and my DH tried to calm them down. BIL2 left and FIL has shut himself in the study watching TV (We are all at his for Xmas). Poor SIL served out the meal and tried to be nice but I think she was just gobsmacked. She has gone home with nice BIL and we are all . SIL has messaged saying she doesn't think she will be coming tomorrow, which I am understand. Such a mess. Feel for you OP

Leslie - so it was in front of you? And you're stuck there? I'm so sorry.

There's a reason why I've been selfish this year and just pleasing myself and my lovely little family.

I don't like the false jollity and passive aggressive comments of certain family members.

Hope you're ok, op.

Hope you're ok op.

You e do d find right thing.

You've done the right thing.

Wishing everyone a fight-free Christmas Day.

Thank you tribpot. I was up half the night with worry. Happily, the DDs seem blissfully unaware and woke us up all excited at 5.30am. Since then I've had a snooze on the sofa am now trying to get into the spirit.

My dad rang. Apparently my DM is sulking/crying in bed. She told him my sister knew that she'd told the other relative about her medical procedure beforehand and came over spoiling for a fight. I don't know what to think. Whatever the argument, it shouldn't lead to the kind of behaviour either of them showed yesterday. I feel like my extended family is broken I used to judge DHs family for being a bit boring and cold. Oh the irony!

I think it's irrelevant who started it (although to be frank, my money is on the drunk one) - the behaviour is unacceptable. And your mother shouldn't have been telling people about your sister's procedure. So I would tell your dad you're not interested in discussing this with him further (your mum getting your dad to phone is classic 'flying monkey' behaviour).

Oh no op

Is it a boob job

Sorry trying to make light of the situation, I can see why sister would be furious but to be physical not on

Who won?

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your day now and good that dd s are in blissful ignorance. But it is no reflection on you at all and their behaviour would be shocking anytime but worse somehow at christmas .x

For the 3rd night in a row I can't sleep as I'm turning this over and over in my mind. We've managed to have a lovely quiet couple of days with the DC, but then I think about what happened and feel terrible.

Bore - no winners here.
Lilac - much more serious than that. Although boob job would fit with the eastenders' special theme of my xmas.

What if my DC had seen? They were pushing and shoving each other on my landing, what if one of them had fallen down the stairs? I asked my DC if they'd seen anything today, DD1 (8yo) told me she'd only heard nanny and auntie arguing and me crying.

What happens now? They've both text, but TBH both their messages are more about how upset they are than how they ruined things for everyone else. DM has let our extended family know New Year's Day at mine is off. DSis is hosting at hers instead and asked if I'd attend. Like fuck will I. They are going to make me look like the ice dramatic and unreasonable one, aren't they?

I'd make sure your extended family know why you are not hosting so that you don't end up being cast as the bad one in the whole thing.

No one will think you are unreasonable for not going.
Other people will go for other reasons. If I was part of the extended family and not directly involved I would turn up 'for the show' - yep that's how awful I am.
Who knows what will happen next??

You need to look after yourself and stay far away. You are not being unreasonable and really do you care what these people think? They lost the moral high ground when they went for each other.

You say that your sister was spoiling for a fight...but your mum told someone personal information about your sister that wasn't hers to tell...

You say you mother has form for being a bad drunk

You do know that this isn't the fault of drink, don't you? Yes, it played a part, but all drink does is lower inhibitions, making it harder to hide who we truly are!

Your mother sounds like a nasty person, your sister didn't behave better, but I challenge anyone not to be upset in those circumstances...