Is this weird or normal? Perspective/gentle shake needed!

[EatingScrambledEggWithAComb]

Please be gentle as I may be totally overreacting. Actually I hope I'm totally overreacting
Dh started a new job a while ago. He's not British and works with a lot of different nationalities. One woman who works on the same company as him but not the same department is the same nationality as him, and they've been going for lunch/breaks together pretty much every day. I'm happy for him that he's found some to hang around with as the rest of this department don't seem too friendly, but I'm also a bit worried that being that same nationality so sharing as language and culture, being able to have fun easy communication plus meeting for lunch everyday is a bit of a heady mix and could lead somewhere inappropriate.

He thinks I'm being ridiculous and it's no problem to see her everyday as he doesn't like her in that way, she's nice to talk to but it's still a bit awkward, and it's also hard to say no if she invites him for lunch as it would seem rude (although I've no doubt that he's inviting her plenty too!) He says in his culture this is totally normal and I'm being crazy.

Am I? I told him that I trusted him to do the right thing if it starts going in a weird direction, he says of course I can trust him. In the past though, he's lied a lot about spending time with other women, having long (non work related) phone calls to female colleagues on the way home from working making him late home, lying about who he was going to be with. That's all years ago now and he's been great since all that, but I still feel pretty delicate and weirded out by things like this because of the past.

I think I just want to hear that this is normal and I can trust him. What would you think if it was your Dh?

Thanks marasme it's really helpful to hear that kind of perspective. I know the nationality/language issue makes it more natural. I'm sure Dh would be happy for us to meet as couples. Actually, he'd personally hate that as he's very shy but he wouldn't have any objections if I wanted us to. He's always invited me previously.

You are telling purple all the reasons you should not be worried and yet you are, if he had not told you about this lunch thing would you have found out. Seems perfectly reasonable he wants a break from English and speak to someone who has a similar background. Would you have the same issues if it was a guy, the lady is married which means they are just keeping each other company during lunch. Find a way of trusting and if not fake it till you see a reason not to

Hmm - I lived and worked abroad for years when I was younger; first the U.S., then Sweden then Italy. It is difficult at times living in a foreign country, and great to meet someone of the same nationality who you can have a good chat with. But (almost) every day, lunchtime and break time??

Not sure. It might be perfectly fine but I don't think you are wrong to have your doubts... also, by a happy chance, he has made you feel that you can't complain because if you do you are being unfair in your attitude towards him, and dragging out incidents from the past that you "should" (!) have let go. I don't think that you would be unreasonable to ask him not to spend time with her every day, but at the very least keep an eye on the situation. After all, he has shown himself to be not terribly honest when it doesn't suit him to be...

Thanks user Those are all good points.
Glad that he could have hidden it but didn't, so I guess that's another positive!
Thanks for all the perspectives, it has helped me see that a) it's natural to be worried given the past, and I'm not the only person that would find this difficult, and b) it's also ok, and not suspicious if he's respecting boundaries, which he says he always will.
Thanks all, it's been really helpful just to splurge it all out