Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

For Sobernow

49 replies

essbee · 24/06/2004 03:14

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Batters · 24/06/2004 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WideWebWitch · 24/06/2004 23:11

Me too sobernow, hope you're OK. It wasn't your fault.

motherinferior · 26/06/2004 11:00

Oh sobernow, big hugs, I'm so sorry.

Something that may or may not help: I've been ditched, repeatedly, at least once by a man who I loved to distraction. I went under for a bit, once or twice really quite badly (done the drink and despair and the out-patient appointments in the bin, the lot)...and then I got my life back. You didn't ruin his life. It sounds as if he and other people (how kind, not) found your behaviour a convenient thing to blame for what HE did with his life.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

sobernow · 26/06/2004 11:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

batey · 26/06/2004 18:48

Sobernow, been away since Fri so only just seen this. Anyway, so sorry to hear about what's happened. Can't really add to the pearls of wisdom that are already here but just wanted to send Cyber Hugs. Take it easy.

lou33 · 26/06/2004 18:50

Am so glad you are feeling better about this Sobernow.

Marina · 27/06/2004 14:22

Just seen this, Sobernow. Glad you are feeling better. Know the experience of feeling guilty and accountable to an ex's parents. Sending you hugs.

bundle · 27/06/2004 14:27

oh sobernow, how awful. I can sort of relate to this because my first ever serious boyfriend took drugs immediately after I split with him (I went to uni, he stayed at home, it never felt right again) and was literally pulled out of the gutter by his mother, registered as an addict and only after a very long time did he begin to recover & rebuild his life. when he was in detox he wrote to me saying that although he'd blamed me for his life falling to bits at the time, he now knew he'd been responsible for his own actions and was sorry for all the grief he'd caused everyone. it didn't stop me feeling guilty but it was a nice thing for him to say. years later he invited my mum & dad to his wedding. this is a very tough time for you, x

sobernow · 04/07/2004 02:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tammybear · 04/07/2004 02:18

aww sobernow, are you ok? xxx

Original poster
essbee · 04/07/2004 02:35

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
lou33 · 04/07/2004 11:54

That's very sad Sobernow, but it still isn't your fault. He made a decision not to do anything with his life, and you are not to be held responsible for that. He may well have been exactly the same if you stayed with him.

I'm glad you said your goodbyes though. Enjoy your family and your life with them.

motherinferior · 04/07/2004 12:14

Lou is right. I think there's a very real chance that his life would have gone in a very similar direction - taking you with him.

Take care.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Caribbeanqueen · 04/07/2004 12:18

Well done for having the strength to go to the funeral. I hope you will feel better able to move on now and get on with your life. xx

Marina · 04/07/2004 15:46

Agree it was very courageous of you to attend, so many of us would have been tempted to duck out of being there. Sending you hugs Sobernow.

bundle · 04/07/2004 15:53

how terribly sad. glad that you feel so positive about your own life.

ggglimpopo · 04/07/2004 15:55

Message withdrawn

Tinker · 04/07/2004 17:21

Hope you're ok sobernow x

sobernow · 05/07/2004 00:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ponygirl · 05/07/2004 00:12

Hi Sobernow, hope you're OK. xxx

Batters · 05/07/2004 11:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 · 21/08/2004 14:30

Just bumping this to see how you are Sobernow?

sobernow · 21/08/2004 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 · 21/08/2004 17:35

I'm glad to hear that sobernow . I have been thinking about how you were for a few days now.

Really good news about the sister, and I agree it's the bigger thing.

Hope your trip out wasn't too horrendous!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page