Hello. Firstly I am a new joiner and a man. I have a nephew and some indirect parenting experience. I want to be upfront about this as I know some people may well question why someone like me should be posting here at all. If anyone feels I should not be, because of the situation outlined above or because the site administrators feel they are being overrun with men, I promise I will stop immediately.
OK so here goes. I am early 40s and look ok, possibly a bit younger. For economic and work reasons- I am self employed- I recently relocated to another part of the British Isles, pretty far away from London where I was stressed and unhappy. I have one family member here who is in her 70s, and an as yet untapped but I think very kind network of family acquaintances partly known through her. As I am newly self-employed and I never lived here before, I don't really know or see too many people outside this. In the New Year I will look for part time work both to supplement the self-employed income and more importantly for the social contact and structure it will hopefully bring. I do of course have a reasonable number of friends, some close, some more acquaintances/ex colleagues, in the UK and a smattering abroad. I would like to meet someone to share my life with, and in many ways the conditions here are perfect- I live in a lovely seaside location, am under much less financial pressure and I am actually content for the first time in ages. I'm also making efforts to dress well and look after myself with exercise and so on. I feel a bit self-conscious about the fact I don't yet have a network of regular friends here, and often worry what people will think of me when they see me sitting in a cafe alone doing my work like I (should be!) now. Although this in itself doesnt bother me. What concerns me is if I do meet someone (possibly through online dating, where to my surprise I got a small amount of interest, wasnt really expecting any) that they might think badly of me if I havent by then got tons of social friends here. All the people I have messaged seem to have brilliant social lives and are always out. Even in London, where as I said I do know a reasonable number of people (but everyone was always stressed and working, so I didnt get to see them much) I did feel the need, and I am really ashamed of this, to sometimes slightly exaggerate my social life so I would not be badly judged, if I met someone that is. I also worry that my London/UK/Euro friends who are all now booking themselves to come and visit me here will expect me to know tons of people here already, and that I might be dimished in their eyes if as I expect that takes a while. I am a huge admirer (generalisation I know) of how many women including my own widowed mother manage to keep a big circle of supportive friends and it makes me all but despair when I see how little priority men especially partnered up ones, seem to give to their friends. Advice gratefully received, thank you.