Was this abuse

[Caro486]

I keep thinking of one time when we were kids. I was 8 or 9. My brother was 4. I made him put his willy on my fanny. i.e. pretend sex.

I am haunted that this may have been abuse and he may remember. He did later suffer abuse from a family member. I am so worried maybe I abused him, too.

You were a child so I hardly think that you were acting with the malicious intent necessary for this to constitute abuse. He no doubt has no memory of the incident. What worries me is why you would have been playing " pretend sex" in the first place. Had you had any sex education at that point? I'm sure you don't need me to spell out what my concern is regarding that.

I was obsessed with it. I don't know why. As far as I know nothing happened to me as a child. At 8 or 9 I knew all about it and was interested. I really hope you're right and he has no memory of it, it is plaguing me.

Please don't torture yourself. As adults our memories of childhood tend to start at about 4 or 5 and since this was unlikely to be a " traumatic" memory I doubt he remembers it. You are projecting adult values and perceptions on to actions done as a child. Please be kind to yourself.

Ps I've investigated child abuse if that makes a difference to you.

It does. Thank you.

Nah. You are totally over thinking this. I remember me and my sister having a snog! We'd seen it on telly. We were both under 10. Also, the kids in our street would look at each others bits. I guess we were aged around 6 at the time. Pretty normal I think.