Ok so have just joined with a new account to ensure I can't be indentified. So this is the issue.
Husband and I both enjoy a drink. He drinks on average 2 cans of lager per evening at home. Not an excessive amount but it's habitual. I could easily drink a bottle of wine in one sitting but since having children wouldn't drink more than 1/2 bottle and generally only drink on weekends where as was drinking most evenings. I'm now breastfeeding so having the odd glass here and there. But I would like us both to drink a lot less when I'm not breastfeeding and this is an issue that I've raised a few times - which usually gets a pretty lukewarm response. Reasons for wanting to reduced alcohol intake are money, liver health and weight loss (more for me, but husband does have a beer belly).
Husband works in an call centre where there is a culture of drinking you could say. Popping out for a pint or two at lunch time, as well as drinking a few pints whilst working if it's quiet/someone has a birthday/it's been a good week for sales etc. He's always participated in this.
Anyway so we're trying to save money and I don't think it's necessary to drink at work so have spoken to him about. I've been making him packed lunches to save money (he'd previously spend up to £10 per day on hot food) and I assumed that he wasn't visiting the pub as much, but it transpired recently that he was. I went mental
and told him there was no need for it and he agreed to not go anymore. I recently looked up weekly recommended units for men (14 units) to illustrate that he was drinking a little too much and worked out that this equals roughly 8 cans of lager per week. We agreed that I would buy 8 cans of lager on a Saturday and he could drink them how he wanted but they would have to last until the following week. Now obviously those 8 cans - his allowance are at home in the fridge - so it's understood that he's not drinking alcohol anywhere else.
Anyway last week was his Christmas do so he was obviously going to drink more than 14 units. We had friends over for a Christmas do so again more units were drunk than would be in a typical week. That's fine, It's meant to be a general rule for a typical week. But today he comes in from work and I can tell he's been drinking. So I ask and he says he's had 3 cans at work because he hit his target for the year. It's a big deal because he's been worried about and not hitting it would have meant his salary would be reduced by £200 per month next year. But I'm furious. He just doesn't get that it's not normal to drink at work. That he made a commitment not to drink at work. He's now cross with me because I'm not congratulating him on hitting his target (I've gone to bed without cooking for him because I can't even share the same space as him right now).
Wouldn't any normal person (if they wanted to celebrate with a drink) brought a bottle of wine (or champagne that we have in) to celebrate with his wife? After work?! Not cracked open 3 cans on the job?!
I am worried that he has a drink problem. As I said he doesn't drink excessively but he doesn't like the idea of not having those 2 beers in the evening. The drinking in the day at work/going to the pub at lunchtime isn't every day (usually once a week on average).
His dad was an alcoholic who took his life when my husband was a child. Not that it's heritary but it must have informed his behaviour..
He does have an addictive personality.
My husband is happy, we have a good life but I just don't like this habit and he doesn't seem to agree with me that it's problematic.
I know certain industries like advertising for example - this kind of drinking wouldn't be an issue but I just don't think it's necessary. Especially when you have a family and responsibilities. What do you think? I don't think I'm being unreasonable.