So this happened

[Toberich]

Minor issue tonight - took kids out all day for a treat, followed by dinner out. All good. DH in ok form, whatever. Kids go to bed, after the usual 20 minutes of me shouting incrementally with more effort. Eventually they get the message & I agree to 30 minutes of devices. DH and I breathe sigh of relief & open bottle, start watching recorded fave programmes. DH differs from me in that he thinks it's ok for them to be on devices until all hours, reason being I go to bed first usually & face the battle to get them off them when I want 5 minutes without shouting at kids to myself before bed.

Anyway after 60 minutes I go to take the devices away. DH objects etc & shouting follows. I ignore & take devices from kids. They were ok ish. Come back to continue watching tv & told that I'm "cruel". DC arrives down after 20 mins or so looking for device, shooed back upstairs with usual threats of Santa etc not coming. Told again I'm cruel. Row ensues. Devices are being used as pacifiers of kids obv. Anyway again looking forward to child-free hour before bed I stick to my guns.

Come back downstairs. DH continues to berate (with language) about the cruelty of removing devices from DCs (under 10, no wifi). I argue back as is my way. I pause fave recorded programme to retort. DH becomes juvenile (after 1 drink !) and puts fingers in ears. I time retorts to when fingers are out of ears. I unpause tv.

DH demands remote I refuse,
DH keeps demanding I turn volume up. (Sh&t tv it can take a lot of turning up). Names are called. (As is his way.)

DH unexpectedly gets up from chair to take remote.
DH unexpectedly & hurtfully twists my arm/wrist around to take remote painfully.
Shock & pain.

I sit with mouth open for a minute & then gather up bits, blow out candle & go to bed. Lock door.

My wrist is now very sore as I already have a touch of carpel tunnel.

Needless to say I can't even make a sound as DC is awake.

Thoughts ? Drink was taken. Not the first time in decades, but the first time in years.

I know it's all relative this is not major compare with most but I'm just a bit in shock. Can't tell BFs usual reasons.

Please report this to the police and go to and a and e if it's still sore.
Stay safe dear

You poor thing, that sounds very sore.

I understand completely Toberich, I felt precisely the same. Christmas is really tricky when you have children and as usual mums put their family first. I did it and to be perfectly honest I would probably do it again if I had to (thank God I don't have to).

I understand what Cumbit is saying but Christmas is kind of different.

My family live in RoI and it is scandalous how much you have to pay to see the doctor. I can go for free here and my GP is my greatest support. If I had to pay I wouldn't be able to see her so frequently and I wouldn't have the great relationship that I do have with her. I can't tell you how much I have benefited from knowing that I can see her when I need to. I am the sole earner and funds are tight. She has kept me in my job and relatively sane.

If you are too scared to go the police tell your doctor when Christmas is over. Take some photos and keep a note of what happened and when. It sounds like you need to see your doctor anyway and if you feel able to you can tell the doctor what happened.

It is shit multiplied by a million but your doctor might feel they have to report it to social services which is another hell hole that abused women have to face.

I was referred to social services because my EXH assaulted me and actually they couldn't have been better. The helped me and I reported him and we split and although it was awful it was the best thing that happened for me and my children.

I know the future seems terrifying but believe me you can get help. I actually left because it was dangerous to stay. I went through an awful time but somehow put one foot in front of the other. The world didn't end and I will never ever forget the day that I got a place of my own (tiny tiny little flat) and the joy I felt knowing that I didn't have to live with him. The babies were little and money was painfully tight but we were so happy.

They are 18 and 20 now and I wouldn't put up with anyone bullying me for half a second.

You have more power than you realise, you just need support and Women's Aid should be your first port of call. I hope the pain is easing.

Go to the guards OP. I'm in ROI so I understand the difficulty with doc's. Even if you did have the cash getting an appointment is still hard enough!

I go to aware meetings every 2/3 weeks, they helped me to see that my "D"H's anger and outbursts are a serious problem. It's a great support network. Email them, it's all anonymous and they have meetings all over the country. There will be a lot of people in your situation.

It's easy to push this back and say "oh it was a slip, it doesn't mean it's going to start up again". Keep notes, go to the station, they will less than likely talk to him directly on the first complaint (much to my disgust, but it may work for you right now).

Don't brush this off, you are not being over sensitive, you are not over reacting, being silly, exaggerating, shit stirring etc. This is happening and you need to take control now.